Caltrops - Cabaret Voltron

Forum Overview :: Cabaret Voltron

by mrs. johnson 07/24/2003, 3:42am PDT

Jesus Christ was a man with a Teddy Bear for a heart and a candy cane instead of a liver. That is why he died. The crucifixion was mere coincidence. Thousands of years later, two to be exact, some people worship his strange disease as their salvation. They do this because they are afraid of eternal pain. Whatâ€™s even stranger is that not one of them can comprehend eternity, or imagine it, so they assume that eternal pain is like temporary pain, except that it never stops. Is this reasonable? An astronomer decides that eternity is too much to be understood, and if it cannot be understood then it cannot exists. So, he proclaims, with full support of his colleagues, that the universe is finite. It stops eventually, he says. He does not bother trying to explain what is outside of the finite universe, and just says â€œnothing.â€ But as large as the universe is, it is just a speck compared to the infinity of nothingness, which seems to be just as much as a few quarts of nothingness. The difference is, you can put those few quarts inside a boat, but you canâ€™t fit an infinite amount of nothingness into anything thatâ€™s less than infinitely large. Right? Fuck, I donâ€™t know.

The essay that Ted was writing made his head throb in a dull, discomforting way. He sat in front of his computer trying not to criticize all accepted forms of current knowledge, while discrediting it. He was then shot in the back of the head by a burglar who decides that he would finally like to find out what it was like to kill. Tedâ€™s head collapsed onto the keyboard and formed the following characters on the screen: gyhuj/ol. This collection of characters had no meaning. It was one of the few shining beacons of uselessness left in Tedâ€™s life and it was slowly leaking out onto the letter P. His vision faded, but consciousness did not.

Throughout his life, Ted had experienced a myriad of things. While the man who experienced them was no longer functional, the experiences were still very much real. The collection of those experiences lived on, without a body, able only to analyze the lives of others, forever unchanged and unchangeable, existing nowhere, yet able to perceive singularly. For simplicity, let us call this entity Teddy, and refer to him as a male. Teddy was looking, as far as we are concerned, at his own funeral. Hundreds of people had turned out. His classmates, his family, people he had never seen before. Even the mayor. Apparently, the burglary of his house had angered enough citizens to mobilize the police force, and hundreds of criminals had been captured. With Tedâ€™s death, the town had become much safer. With the grief of his relations, lay gratitude. Teddy was proud of his former self. In his death he had achieved glory, he had helped people.

Time passed. The experiences that made up Teddy were becoming a smaller and smaller portion of the collective experience of every sentient being. This meant that Teddy was become less and less able to see and feel. Before he finally disintegrated into a disassociate jumble of historical sensations, he decided to fulfill his life long goal of going to the moon. Travel for one such as Teddy was not like a physical being. He traveled quicker than light, since he did not need to exist in a linear universe, as his components had already existed. He was free to observe the physical world, without being hindered by its laws. He, let us say, walked to the moon and sat on a rock, observing the Earth, which looked awfully warm. Teddy tried to understand his own existence and searched for others like him, but since those being were just as non physical as he, they could not perceive each other in any way. After some time, Teddy began to feel less and less able to form coherent thoughts. Before he finally stopped existing he realized that he never did in the first place and happily did not evaporate, nor disappear. He stopped.

the mrs.