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Re: Penny Arcade Lanwerx Draft 1 by veronica 08/20/2003, 6:44pm PDT
Senor Barborito wrote:


If the people at that convention had followed these simple rules not only would I be happier not having to look at/smell the most horribly deformed and putrid 'people' I have ever interacted with - and this includes the street bums I used to serve meals to at the mission as a kid - but most of you could probably also score a girlfriend of some kind, which clearly none of you ever have.


This jumped out at me: in the above paragraph, you started with "the people" and ended with "you" as your focus. You need to be clear on who you are talking to.

v
Yes, I told him IRL, but this is a reminder.
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Penny Arcade Lanwerx Draft 1 by Senor Barborito 08/20/2003, 6:00am PDT NEW
    Re: Penny Arcade Lanwerx Draft 1 by Bill Dungsroman 08/20/2003, 11:47am PDT NEW
        Noted and agreed - a lot of the original article could benefit to be tighter NT by Senor Barborito 08/20/2003, 12:43pm PDT NEW
    Re: Penny Arcade Lanwerx Draft 1 by Entropy Stew 08/20/2003, 2:58pm PDT NEW
        I had no such error and I never logged in to anything - weird. by Senor Barborito 08/20/2003, 4:02pm PDT NEW
            HAHA I WAS RIGHT -nt- by Entropy Stew 08/20/2003, 6:21pm PDT NEW
                Actually the login system wasn't mandatory when I posted. It only is now. NT by Senor Barborito 08/20/2003, 8:23pm PDT NEW
    Crunches done properly are not "cheating" by laudablepuss 08/20/2003, 5:06pm PDT NEW
    Re: Penny Arcade Lanwerx Draft 1 by veronica 08/20/2003, 6:44pm PDT NEW
    Penny Acade Xpo videos, with appearance by Jane "Rez Vibrator" Pinckard by Choson 02/01/2006, 5:49am PST NEW
 
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