Caltrops - A Mind Forever Voyaging - That reminds me of a story

Forum Overview :: A Mind Forever Voyaging

by Ray of Light 10/21/2004, 1:57am PDT

I've been travelling the last few days, and too busy to crack anything off, so I knew today was going to be something special even before I draped a towel over my task chair.

I think the importance of foreplay is one lesson the women can teach us; I prefer to lie still while one of them drives that steamy bus, but am learning to make do when solo. I start off with selected scenes from Eyes Wide Shut (mediocre spak material, BTW, notwithstanding the rich tapestry of Kubrick's genius) and some warm rice pilaf, which encourages histamine production, which is a key ingredient in my upcoming post-coital flush.

I segue into some beautifulagony.com shorts, those delicious blank greeting cards of pornography: they supply a face and sexual context and your imagination does the rest. Maybe Hamburger Helper is a better similie.

45 minutes on, the meridian aproaches and it's more than everything I imagined. And just when I couldn't be more imminently satisfied, the phone rings. They say adulthood is defined by the ability to defer pleasure, so I roll the old eyes and hit mute. By way of precaution, I also "Minimize All" because the last thing I need while talking to my lady stockbroker is, for example, to say "endometrium" when I meant "endorsement".

Trouble is, the process has a momentum. As I reach for the handset, a less-than-delicious mix of pain and pleasure afflicts my slighted groin and I realize I'm experiencing what musketeers call a "hangfire". Looking down, I see but half a teaspoon of ramification, a disquietingly small amount given the circumstances. The rest, judging from a citrus ache in my jackson and cobblers, is sloshing around somewhere, gumming up the works and waiting for a propellant that will never come.

While enduring a stockbroker discussion that makes the entire "dot-bomb" debacle look like an Irish Hanukkah, I employ my hand--once a dark and musky dampness that yearned to be penetrated--in a prehensile effort to finish the job my parasympathetic nervous system has bungled so thoroughly. I might as well have tried to push-start a square-wheeled car from Enter the Matrix, for all the good THAT did.

Needless to say I'm feeling bummed out and cheated when I find the parent post, and am reminded that we're never TRULY alone in this world.

Thanks for the smile.

Ray!