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by Mysterio 10/21/2004, 8:14pm PDT |
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Hearing stories like Ray's make you wonder just what kind of wanker you are. I've only ever got an erection watching porn a couple of times because I never usually give myself the chance. I beat it up, then beat it off. I'm a blue collar wanker, and I'm all business.
I think what I'd get out of growing an erection naturally (that's hands free), say by watching women's tennis in slowmo, or leafing through my family photo album in the bath (one for Zseni :)), is a feeling of less responsibility. Because the dick went hard itself, nature's already committed half the crime. Mother nature's set me up. It's almost fate, etc... It's all bullshit, really, but how hard is it to talk yourself into a wank? I remember once using the excuse that I didn't know what it felt like to jerk off in a certain temperature of bathwater, so off I went. But anyway, let's say I'm sitting there on the couch with a naturally grown erection. If I had the willpower I could walk away scotfree and pretend it was a sign of my maturity or discipline or whatever, but I'm not out to walk away, I'm out to jerk off with the least guilt possible, and in my books growing an erection naturally is just a few steps from getting a handjob. But if that's truly the case, why don't I grow them more often? Am I too lazy or are my theories fucked? Probably, but also I enjoy feeling bad about my wanks. I like mulling over what a dirrty little cunt I am while listening to Enya and renaming and archiving the best images as anagrams of the girls they remind me of and deleting my browser history. It's the perfect way to write off a shitty day. It's not gonna make you cry or anything, but you can slump down in your bed completely defeated and not really give a shit about anything. Try that with you fancy natural wanks!
A point is, there's a wank for every occasion and the groundwork needed to get your dick hard, whether you grow it or beat it, will have consequences on the rest of your day. If you've got something important to do that requires a bit of self-esteem, and you've got the time and privacy to wait around while your dick gets hard watching olympic gymnasts, grow it. If you're a lonely, bitter, nobody who's an E entertainment special away from an early night, build it and fuck it. Wanks will take you places and there's no avoiding them, but make it easy on yourself know where you want go. |
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