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| The System by Mysterio 10/23/2004, 8:47pm PDT | ||||
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| Some of the blame for my jerking off is with the schools who taught and encouraged me, at age 9, to jerk off. Despite their best and worst efforts, I managed to resist until 14, when the schools had so thoroughly made it the norm that it was assumed by everyone that you jacked and I was tired of feeling guilty and being innocent. I use to get pretty angry about it. What fucks me off most is 1) I think wanking has changed my life for the worse, and 2) I don't think I would have discovered wanking myself, at least until I got the internet many years later. Maybe if you trace concentric circles around your funny bone with a wet leather button your cum comes out shaped like a dinosaur. I don't want to know at fucking 9 years of age, thanks. Yet, at that age the schools were showing me cartoons of a guy jerking off under his sheets and cutting to a 'fairy', who was pretty much deliberately an angel minus the halo, telling the camera it was alright and perfectly natural. I remember later in the video they showed a robot, with a locked trapdoor for an ass, cramming coloured blocks down his mouth and into his transparent stomach until he fell over. Then the fairy comes on and tells the camera that's why you should take a shit!!! I wish I knew the names of those videos. I remember they told you about erections by showing a cartoon guy leaning against a brick wall. A girl walks past and his pants tent, but his dick is perfectly horizontal. He blushes and covers it with his knee. Fairy comes on and tells you it's alright and normal, and that was it for erections! I spent 2 years thinking I was a freak for having a vertical erection. I remember thinking when I was older and went to fuck my wife, I would mutilate her bladder. I thought perhaps it was caused by me always wearing my dick up in my jockeys, so during school I'd adjust myself under my desk so my dick bent downwards uncomfortably in an effort to right it. I felt like a Snork. I remember the insane fear during assemblies that someone would bring a heat sensor, like the one I'd seen in some army movie, and my vertical erection would come up as a strange glowing splodge that the principal would have to investigate. It wasn't until I was 11 on the roof with a friend who was telling me he was thinking of putting a poster of Elle McPherson on the toilet wall so his brother would get an erection and piss in his own face, that I found out all erections went vertical.
Anyway, if you somehow make it out of intermediate innocent, like I did, highschool all but tugs you off. My first wank was into a wet plastic bag to the sound of a european sex therapist giving blowjob advice on student radio. This followed a failed wank over my sister's friends in the pool a few months earlier. I'd moved my hands up and down my dick for 20-30 seconds like the cartoons said, but there was no orgasm so I gave up. When I think back on those early wanks, I have to shake my head. I'm so paranoid about my wanks now; I go to great lengths to keep them private, distant, and quiet. And here I was wanking into a wet plastic bag with an open door in a house with 8 people milling about. Goddamn that must have been noisy. |
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The System by 10/23/2004, 8:47pm PDT  mrs.j by 10/23/2004, 11:02pm PDT But, he capitalizes. Someones got to do this. *APPLAUSE* NT by 10/23/2004, 11:04pm PDT Hey, I know this guy. by 10/24/2004, 5:22pm PDT Yeah, and he's seldom wrong. NT by 10/24/2004, 5:44pm PDT Re: The System by 10/24/2004, 10:09pm PDT |
