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My favorite part of "The Princess Diaries" by Mischief Maker 12/26/2006, 9:21am PST
Or it might have been the sequel, I don't remember all the details.

The story is about this american girl who's unpopular and dresses dopey who one day discovers that she's the last remaining descendant to royalty in some tiny fairytale kingdom and Julie Andrews comes and swoops her into a life of magic and luxury. It's not all fun and games, however, there's a snobbish snaggletoothed prince named harry or something with a bitchy sister who he's a little too familiar with (in a disney way) who looks down on her common upbringing and lack of antiquated social grace. The bitchy sister meanwhile alternately acts as a friend to the princess and secretly maneuvers her into embarrassment after embarrassment. But then there this hunky prince named william or something who isn't bothered by her american ways and one time lets her see his private stash of american music and other things to let her know he's modern "hip" guy.

Well at this point I'm practically retelling the whole script, suffice to say the culture shock and bitchy sister's machinations almost make the princess lose touch with her unpopular friends at home and turn into a different person, but some timely advice from Julie Andrews telling her to "be true to yourself" summons unexpected reserves of strength in the princess, she makes up with her friends, harry gets put in his place by hunky william, the bitchy sister is totally embarrased at a huge social function, and in the end the princess brings all her friends to her castle where they have a big dance party and have hillary duff or some other disney pop singer singing live while Julie Andrews dances formally to it with some handsome elderly lord.

ANYWAY, and the more I think about it my favorite part is probably in the sequel. The scene is where Julie Andrews comes up to the princess with her face beaming and says, "wonderful news, dear! You've been engaged to marry prince Harry!"

And the princess is all, "But I don't love him! I don't even like him! I can't marry him!"

And Julie Andrews puts her hands to her hips and says, "Now come come, my dear, you mustn't be so selfish. Do you have any idea what an alliance with Harry's kingdom could DO for our country? What do you think princesses DO anyway?"

"Well why can't I marry William?"

And Julie Andrews pats her on the head and says, "I'm sorry, dear, but in the midst of all the turmoil with the throne being empty before we found you your dowry has shrunk to the point that it is far too little for a prince like William to accept."

"Well I'm an independant woman and I will marry who I want!"

"My dear, you are a princess..."

"I'm not marrying Harry! I'm only marrying for love!"

Then Julie Andrews, in what's got to be her best scene since "Marry Poppins" stands tall and turns all icy and regal and says, "I think a little time in the tower will cure you of this selfishness. GUARD!"

And the princess is thrown in the tower with only a cot and a barred window and is given nothing but gruel and water to drink. Once a week Julie Andrews drops by to ask if she will marry Harry and when the princess says no Julie does an abrupt about face and leaves with the door slamming shut behind her, ignoring anything else that the princess tries to say. She goes strong for the first couple months, then winter comes and all she has in the tower is a ragged old blanket to keep herself warm and there's all these Dr Zhivago-esque scenes of her suffering under the cold and frost staring at the pile of snow at the edge of her window spilling into her cell. Finally she gives in and agrees to marry harry and there's a scene of Julie Andrews and all the servants papering her and giving her hot cocoa in front of a roaring fire while she sits silently. Then she and harry marry with all the pomp and splendor and when they enter the honeymoon bedroom the bitchy sister is in there waiting and harry says, "I found it quite insulting waiting all those months for a common-raised girl like you to deign to marry me, nor have I forgotten your hand in embarrassing my sister last year. Since you're so fond of the tower, I think you will be happy to spend a couple more months there before we consummate our marriage. Then after two more months in the tower harry beds her and 9 months later she gives birth to a son who looks just like harry. She dies soon after from complications caused by her time in the tower and the final scene is one of her coffin being lowered into a grave with pink roses all over it while Harry and his sister watch, harry's arm around his sister and his finger tracing little circles on her back.

It was pure Disney magic.
Everybody calls me 'princess' by Zseni 12/26/2006, 12:31am PST
    My favorite part of "The Princess Diaries" by Mischief Maker 12/26/2006, 9:21am PST
        Correction: "pampering" NT by Mischief Maker 12/26/2006, 9:24am PST
        I wuv u, MM. NT by Zseni 12/26/2006, 12:53pm PST
        This belongs on the front page. NT by Jerry Whorebach 12/26/2006, 1:47pm PST
        This will have to tide me over until the next Song of Ice and Fire comes out NT by Entropy Stew 12/27/2006, 1:26am PST
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