wrestleman911nvr4gt Says:
September 9th, 2007 at 12:48 pm

This is possibly the worst piece of attempted criticism I’ve ever read. The anecdote is long and boring and its connection to the game is beyond tenuous. If the girl was the inaccessible one because she wouldn’t let you stick your bell end in her pooper, well, it would still be a terrible review but at least I wouldn’t feel so sad reading it.

You say that what makes the game special also makes it difficult to explain. Come on, you didn’t even try! There’s no reason why you couldn’t delve into all that dismissable jargon a little more since, presumably, the mechanics of fighting games are at least interesting to fighting game fans (if no one else). If you were writing for a broader audience, I have to ask - why bother? “Hey guys, here’s this new thing from Japan you’ve never heard of and wouldn’t like, but I do and that makes me special.”

I do appreciate your attempts to keep me up to speed with whatever stupid fashion Japan is into now - I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of having foreign words and concepts explained to me by socially-stunted weeaboos. And I don’t want to overstate this, but your extended joke about how girls don’t play video games nearly caused me to wet myself with laughter. But really, I hope you and the editor are fucking or at least cuddling with benefits, because that’s his only excuse for publishing this rubbish (sorry Tim, AB.net’s content starvation just won’t cut it in this case).

PS: Your Persona 3 review wasn’t quite so terrible. Good job! Maybe in a few years I’ll read another david cabrera piece. Try not to disappoint me then, too.