Forum Overview :: M.A.M.E.
 
Re: Forget everything you knew about emulators! by Hipster Writing For Slate 12/20/2007, 7:32pm PST
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

This is the goddamn CAT'S ASS:


AAE has made chicken salad out of what it's been given, but when I was playing through a sample game of Asteroids Deluxe, my girlfriend began a row of shrieking hysterics. "Baby, what's wrong?" I said, as I knocked the asteroid count down to three and the collective appeared.

"SHOOTING ASTEROIDS IN SPACE IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE!!!" she cried, before storming out of the room.

I flung my controller at the keyboard, and neatly hit the "Escape" key, bringing the emulator to a close, leaving only my Windows wallpaper to stare back at me, like the admonishing glare of the host of a party, who's been watching your girlfriend get more and more agitated until erupting, while you continued to blab on about fantasy football.

I left the living room and knocked before entering our bedroom.

"Baby... what the... it's just a game... there's motion blur, there's -- "

"You weren't there!" she screamed, tears smearing her mascara. "When all the RoadBlasters and Marble Madness fans would spit in my hair and gang up and hit me. And this is what it's all for? An emulator? That replicates the entire experience, lah dee dah, here it is in your home?? Emulation??!" She stared at me in unblinking incomprehension before throwing her head back into the pillow and drowning it.

Asteroids Deluxe's unalloyed virtue, admired even at the time of its release, is an assaultive and wildly original production design, a mix of that rain, nuzzling gouts of smoke, and an eternally shifting kaleidoscope of artificial backdrops—all of it suggestive of a richly dystopic society and a wretchedly fatigued planet Earth. If nothing else, Asteroids Deluxe is mesmerizing when caught in pieces; it murmurs beautifully in the background. Unloved in the arcades, Asteroids Deluxe found its perfect medium in M.A.M.E. and Atari Flashback joysticks -- in the fragmented, ambient multiplatform afterlife that has become, over the past 20 or so years, the common stuff of movies.

With no newer, truer version of Asteroids Deluxe to come, we are told, "This is it. This is all it could ever be."

Never.

PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Forget everything you knew about emulators! by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/20/2007, 7:20pm PST NEW
    nice link NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 12/20/2007, 7:30pm PST NEW
        Fixed inside! by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/20/2007, 7:33pm PST NEW
    Re: Forget everything you knew about emulators! by Hipster Writing For Slate 12/20/2007, 7:32pm PST NEW
        You forgot the part where she runs to the kitchen where she belongs. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 12/21/2007, 3:39am PST NEW
            And that on its worst day Slate fails to write shit that awful NT by Fortinbras 12/21/2007, 4:20am PST NEW
                What's up, did we rent you from somewhere? It's not working out. :( NT by I need clarification 12/21/2007, 10:54am PST NEW
                    I like you, you should post more NT by Fortinbras 12/21/2007, 3:35pm PST NEW
                        It's not working out NT by I need clarification 12/21/2007, 5:24pm PST NEW
 
powered by pointy