Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy
 
The Signal (holy shit!) by FABIO 02/25/2008, 12:48am PST
This isn't a movie so much as some kind of Andy Warhol experiment in viewer endurance by combining all the worst recent movie trends into one unwatchable (not the fun train wreck kind) perfect storm.


- Pretentious indy style headers for each of the acts

- Fussbett's jumbled timeline crutch to try and make straightforward events seem more interesting.

- "It was all a dream!" fakeouts. I lost count at 13.

- PROFOUND TWIST

- Torture porn


At worst I was expecting another Pulse. The first 15 minutes makes you think it's going to be a clumsy but passable Dawn of the Dead ripoff (where our blonde heroine hides in the bathroom from her suddenly murderous husband). Then the second "act" (titled "The Jealousy Monster"!!) suddenly shifts tone to a dreadful ensemble "comedy" where the entire plot gets put on hold so we can watch a sitcom of people in an apartment hilariously murder people showing up for a New Year's party until it climaxes in a woman getting her face burned and melted with pesticide in a drawn out torture sequence. Ha!

Act 3 is an endless half hour parade of Fight Club-ish TWISTS revealed.


I've never walked out on a movie in my life. I wanted to walk out of this one but my friend convinced me to stay because there was "probably" only 15 minutes left to go. I honestly can't remember a worse movie I've seen (I'm sure I have, but none come to mind) and am not exaggerating when I say that me or anyone here couldn't intentionally make a worse flick if they tried. Sci-fi channel originals? Alone in the Dark? Starship Troopers 2? Fucking masterpieces by comparison.

I was positive this was made by film students armed with nothing but a trust fund and an unshakable belief that their shit was AWESOME, so I looked it up on IMDB and found that director Dan Bush's prior experience was as a paint foreman in Road Trip. The actual page for this movie is just as amusing; every single dead body extra is credited.
NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
The Signal (holy shit!) by FABIO 02/25/2008, 12:48am PST NEW
    Ebert gives it 3 stars. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 02/25/2008, 8:26am PST NEW
        Re: Ebert gives it 3 stars. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 02/25/2008, 8:31am PST NEW
            NATCH, TWIST by Bunyip 02/25/2008, 4:08pm PST NEW
                It's hard to tell what with the reviews being mashed in there all together. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 02/25/2008, 9:05pm PST NEW
 
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