Forum Overview :: Devil May Cry 4
 
Crispy Gamer: still doing its best to make me hate everything about it by Jerry Whorebach 03/20/2008, 3:40am PDT
They have a new column now where some mystery games developer, calling himself (I'm not kidding) GameCynic, offers his cuttingly insightful perspective on some of today's hottest releases.

GameCynic wrote:

Game developers are often cuttingly insightful about the flaws and successes of games they play and games they make; the discussions in the studio or among colleagues are miles away in focus and depth from the average review.


Gee, this couldn't possibly be QT3's Charles, could it?

GameCynic wrote:

I've always enjoyed ambitious, combinatorially complex emergent behavior games, but I have a fondness for narrative and story. I've always hated games on rails; at least leave me the illusion that I'm making meaningful choices!


Yeah, it's fucking Assassin's Creed's Charles all right. :(

Anyway, he goes on to talk about how he's not a young man anymore...

GameCynic wrote:

Maybe my eyes aren't 24 years old, or maybe they're blurry from too much crunch-period death marching, but despite the lovely PSP screen, that wooden-handled hammer just doesn't pop from the rusty grey/tan medical cart.


And how he doesn't have a fucking clue how to actually play the games he's such an expert on...

GameCynic wrote:

Now, I'm hardly an FPS player -- you won't find me in demand on any deathmatch ladders.


And how Call of Duty 4 had such an intense and viscerally superior single-player campaign that he lost all contact with reality and lived an entire lifetime as a simple peasant farmer on a long-dead planet...

GameCynic wrote:

I like open-world games, but COD4 was just so viscerally superior to the allegedly open-world Medal of Honor that it wasn't a contest. I like a good narrative, and like the survival horror games of old, COD4 distracted me so completely that I was only distantly aware that I was on rails. The fiction was more relevant -- I only assume that Penny Arcade's written some strips about the endless WWII themes, because they've been -- well, endless. The game had just enough veneer of tactical simulation to suspend my disbelief. It is very much the shooter version of "24" -- our heroes are insanely martially competent, the enemies are rooted in CNN, and the action is so fast, with lots of intermediate rewards, that you never question the believability of the story.


And how Holo-Moriarty tried to trick him into crawling inside the TV and he saw through that obvious ploy just like he saw through Activision's attempt to bilk the taxpayer for millions of dollars in government contracts...

GameCynic wrote:

Activision's been so enamored of the Madden model (new year, new game, 5 million-plus in sales!) that they might be missing the real opportunity: more episodes.


And, finally, ends up proposing episodic games as the new market paradigm, because the old one was moving too many units or something.

Well, that was certainly "miles away in focus and depth from the average review." I think I can see why he's so concerned about losing his job (at Ubisoft Montreal) if his ladyboss (Jade Raymond) were to ever learn what a cynical lightning-rod for controversy he can be, but only when nobody's cramping his style with direct eye-contact.
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Some jerk interviews DMC4 producer Hiroyuki Kobayashi, mistakes him for wrom? by Jerry Whorebach 02/25/2008, 7:25am PST NEW
    Not nice to women! by Worm 02/25/2008, 6:21pm PST NEW
        If your significant other gave up on you long ago, you are one of us. NT by One of us! One of us! 02/25/2008, 6:25pm PST NEW
    And here I was about to adopt calling cold beers "crispy." Guess that's out the NT by Fullofkittens 02/25/2008, 7:40pm PST NEW
        Crispy Gamer: still doing its best to make me hate everything about it by Jerry Whorebach 03/20/2008, 3:40am PDT NEW
            I forgot to link the thing that set me off by Jerry Whorebach 03/20/2008, 3:56am PDT NEW
            QT3's Charles's game feels so good HRRRRRRN *jizzes all over his huge tits* NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/20/2008, 5:19am PDT NEW
 
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