Bionic Commando Rearmed

The Cable Bros. 9/1/2008 

The 1UP Show starts off right away with them fucking up a fairly simple part from the 11th mission.

Jhoh Cable, a Monster, says:

This is the first game that is actually worse with co-op.

You can't walk more than 5 steps away from the other player without reaching the edge of the screen and being unable to see in front of you, which is usually a pit or spikes or sewer lava that won't kill you instantly, but you can't escape from it unless they give you a nearby platform to hook onto which they usually don't. If you go an extra step (that is if you're able to, most of the time you'll be facing a wall but you can't even see it because its forcing you to the end of the screen) it forces a split screen that somehow makes things even harder to see.

In order to do any swinging, both players have to be layered over each other and acting simultaneously, which is a challenge even for us. Most of the time even while swinging at the same time and acting in perfect unison and harmony, you will still miss the next shot because the screen still won't scroll properly to show you what is next. In split screen, you literally can't see in front of you. There are several dark rooms where neither player can tell who is who, and you will die over and over not because of the challenge of the game but only because the game doesn't allow you to see what is happening within the game. You can achieve pretty much the same effect by playing with your eyes closed.

In single player, the game is thousands of times easier and is in fact not much of a challenge, especially without having a second player distract you by stealing your screen vision away from you like I did with Jso most of the time. He finished the game single player already, so when I played co-op, I spent almost of my time dead while he soloed the rest of the game and I watched.

I do like that they added things like the new damage mechanic, where your bullets do more damage to people (and make them flash red) while lasers do reduced damage (and flash yellow), but against machines lasers do increased damage while bullets do less.

Jso Cable says:

Unfortunately it seems they just did not work on co-op play at all, adding it as a practical afterthought, then maybe one guy went back and decided that co-op needed just a little tweaking, so he made the bosses like 5x harder on co-op then brushed his computer off his desk and bolted away from the building he works in as fast as he could, to make sure that the game would not be properly balanced fixed or playtested.

Otohotoh single player is worth the $15 and is a giant improvement over the original, which is a good idea and was worth the effort of the development team (Grin) to update a classic to make it less shitty and tolerable for modern times, now maybe we can get an update of Mario RPG.

Also FUCKING INSANE load times, even just restarting the level equals an unbelievable load time. And there are no fucking checkpoints at fucking all if you lose all your lives (all fucking THREE OF THEM), the last level took about 10 continues just to figure out thanks to the motherfucking giant single level of nothing but moving platforms over a bottomless pit, and the timed event after you beat THE LEADER.

Perhaps we are just spoiled by FAR BETTER DESIGNED GAMES but having to start a mission I was almost done with from the very start ALL FUCKIN OVER AGAIN just because I ran out of the arbitrary 3 lives I was provided with is very gay and annoying and it seems like the solution would be very obvious (checkpoints, infinite lives, whatever).

Overall (BOF of us):

The game is a good idea and works great as a single player remake with cool new graphics, actual ragdolls, and new updated mechanics, while retaining everything that made the original game fun. The new things added to the game help make it even more playable and user friendly, while adding some originality. However, all this goes out with the window with cooperative play. As soon as there is another player on the screen, the whole swinging mechanic goes out the window, because you can no longer see what you are swinging into with the screen restriction, therefore making it useless, but the game is impossible to play without the swinging, which means lots and lots of falling into spike pits or whatever death traps that you would've been able to see in single player but can't in co-op.

The Cable Bruddas