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Fussbett: I'm going to make a custom map while I wait.
We planned on having a simple game of Command & Conquer Generals. Most artists look to drugs for stimulation during an artistic block, but since conflictNo has turned his back on all artificial mood enhancers including some of the wilder food dyes, we were going to use our C&C Generals match as inspiration for a review of the game. Indicative of how little conflictNo plays the game, he needed to download a patch before we began.
Fussbett: The review opens with a bang.
conflictNo: 2.6 megs? I am outraged.
Fussbett: NICE GOING EA. Fucking corporations. When will games simply sprout organically from the earth?
conflictNo: EA could teach me how to code the update, IT WOULD BE FASTER.
Fussbett: You paid for the game already, now they make you pay again with TIME? TIME IS MONEY!
conflictNo: going backwards in time now. 36 minutes!
Fussbett: Are you sure you're connected to the internet?
conflictNo: 40 MINUTES WHERE AM I? I must be connected to some other Internet.
Fussbett: I'm going to make a custom map while I wait.
Things were set in motion that night that would eventually bring forth the dawn of a new age in computer game reviews. An age where the review is not written and instead the reviewers make custom maps.
Map 1
When discussing this map we were going to play, conflictNo asked for lots of three things: Mosques, hospitals and chainlink fences. Mosques became generic araby buildings, lots of hospitals became one hospital, but I fenced that fucker up with extreme fence prejudice. I even threw in some police barricades and a couple of random brick walls for good measure. I now understand how concentration camps get made. The seductive lure of fencing stuff in is intoxicating.
My first map was built while conflictNo downloaded the 1.5 patch. Granted, he's connected to the internet via horsedrawn cart, so it was a good half an hour, but this is still not enough time to make a pretty map. Nor a good map. Hell, I'll come right out and say it; it took me three hours to troubleshoot my various map problems.
I chose the snow tileset for most of the ground because conflictNo is from Texas, so keeping him out of his element was my goal. Does he even know what snow is? He might think his video card is broken when he scopes the white terrain. I even threw in a snowman between the bases for an element of confusion if he tried for a straight rush. Edge: Fussbett. I put a city in one corner of the map because cities in Generals are awesome. My city is the opposite of awesome, but it's got [funny jokes about city here]
Maybe the Manual Will Help
If you’re going to add bodies of water, make sure that you reserve space in your map for them.
The World Builder PDF manual is full of helpful advice such as that. Unfortunately, my problem... [funny stuff about manual? Seems less funny now. This section gone probably.]
The Game Begins
conflictNo: my desktop icons are rearranged... new feature of 1.05 patch?
Fussbett: That's how a General would arrange them.
 Peeps
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