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by discuss. 10/02/2009, 6:15pm PDT |
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Greetings.
I would just like to say that I won. I will be leaving this website after this post, and I won.
I first became aware of Caltrops in the winter of 2008. I mostly lurked, poking my head out here and there, content to absorb the content rather than contribute. However, one thing constantly irritated me about the site - Jhoh and Jsoh Cable.
It wasn't just that their posts were worthless. Those could be ignored. It was that they were smug about it. It's okay to be "living garbage," as I said before, as long as you're aware of it. Jhoh and Jsoh seemed to think they were better than people, and I guess that's what was so fascinating.
My goal was to create a persona that would cause them to go crazy, and I'll be honest -- I thought it would be much more difficult than it was. Everything I wrote they attributed to Worm (or "wrom") and Charity Man. (In fact, when Charity Man started posting again, I briefly panicked: I wanted to toy with the Cables all by myself. I was thrilled when the twins thought we were all the same person.)
It really doesn't take much. Post in lower case, avoid correcting typos and hit enter a lot and the Cables will respond every single time.
I'm fairly certain that you will never find me. The website I frequent uses custom software, like Caltrops (no, not PlanetCrap) but most of the action is in PMs, so Google searches will never reveal it. Towards the end, a few of my friends were posting under the "discuss." name (one of them forgot the period the other day) and for a bit we really thought we were caught. But each and every time, Jsoh would immediately respond with "wrom" and the tension disappeared. We are =still= all curious if the Cables have jobs. It only happened twice, but we did take bets on response time. We had to stop when Jsoh would respond within five minutes or less in the middle of the night. He would respond so fast nobody would bother betting on anything other than the first two or three minutes. We never figured out his sleep patterns, and there is debate as to whether he has a job. One of us thinks he's slept with a woman, but only =one=, which is equally embarrassing.
Our favorite posters are Zsenistan, Quentinbec and I need clarification. There is debate as to the worst posters, besides the twins. Usually it's Mr. 3000 and Mysterious Stranger, but Jsoh blows both of those away.
Anyway, you've all been delightful, except for Jsoh and Jhoh Cable. You two are stupid faggots, but you know that already. I'm going to win the last few bucks in the PayPal account depending on how you respond to this. I feel really bad that the rest of you have to live with them. If the site continues to decline as I suspect it will, I will post a link to our forum, which is pretty good and "Cable-free." (It's possible to be laid back and still eliminate GameFAQ idiots. Promise. Swear to God. You'll see. :)
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This is my final thread. Goodbye. by discuss. 10/02/2009, 6:15pm PDT 
suicide is the only way out NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/02/2009, 6:27pm PDT
12 minutes! At least pretend to have some dignity. NT by Ator the Fighting Eagle 10/02/2009, 7:03pm PDT
pretending to have dignity is a great thing I hear NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/02/2009, 7:06pm PDT
Re: pretending to have dignity is a great thing I hear by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/02/2009, 7:27pm PDT
This is my final bread by Okk 10/02/2009, 7:00pm PDT
gruman NT by gruman 10/02/2009, 7:11pm PDT
I have to link this to Mranduh she's going to love this. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/02/2009, 7:14pm PDT
we're finished *punches door over and over* NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/02/2009, 7:16pm PDT
WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/02/2009, 7:17pm PDT
I am just a virgin (virgins can't lift flour on their own) NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/02/2009, 7:30pm PDT
thats it, buddy. take ownership of being a grotesque virgin NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/02/2009, 7:34pm PDT
Check out how this guy is trolling us into replying. 8) NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/02/2009, 7:38pm PDT
he's right about one thing by Gregor Samsa 10/02/2009, 8:00pm PDT
Re: he's right about one thing by Samus Gregson 10/03/2009, 12:18am PDT
Re: This is my final thread. Goodbye. by Choson 10/02/2009, 8:10pm PDT
I like creex. he makes things. by up with pod people 10/02/2009, 11:06pm PDT
basically half the ideas he has, I tell him first by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/03/2009, 1:36am PDT
It was me, I swear NT by Weyoun! You know, the other one! 10/03/2009, 8:11am PDT
For some reason you're bitter about this. :( by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 8:25am PDT
To be fair, caltrops is also custom software, and I can never find any posts the NT by Entropy Stew 10/03/2009, 1:09pm PDT
We need PMs. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 1:13pm PDT
now is as good a time as any to learn that counts for nothing NT by up with pod people 10/03/2009, 9:30am PDT
Most people don't understand how Jso is important, that is normal. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 9:50am PDT
B-b-but society failed him! How did THAT happen? NT by President Barak H. Obama 10/03/2009, 11:02am PDT
Re: I like creex. he makes things. by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 8:31am PDT
I'm sorry dear, it remains your weakest work. by up with pod people 10/03/2009, 9:32am PDT
if it's not wrom, then they should be reexamining their life right about now by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/03/2009, 3:07pm PDT
yeah on the third year of you chasing ators around this site screaming wrom by Worm 10/03/2009, 3:47pm PDT
Well hey there's wrom nice of you to show up suddenly. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 4:24pm PDT
Yeah almost as fortuitous as a random guy who hates you massaging your ego. NT by Worm 10/03/2009, 4:34pm PDT
You can hear creaking from the straining to make some kind of point. by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 5:01pm PDT
Yes, the sightless, odorless CO from the radiator of his point are becoming all by Jrdano, the mysterious third Cable 10/03/2009, 5:15pm PDT
Hey fuck you NT by Jkae Cable 10/11/2009, 5:29am PDT
I've made the point, discuss is you, or might as well be. by Worm 10/03/2009, 5:44pm PDT
How could he guarantee the Cables would be in on a Friday Night? NT by Samuel L. Jackson 10/02/2009, 8:28pm PDT
he was brave enough to sacrifice his weekend to get this ICEBURN in NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/02/2009, 9:40pm PDT
We lost "discuss?" NOOOOOO HOW WILL THE FORUM SURVIVE OH GOD WHY DO THE GOOD DI by Mischief Maker 10/02/2009, 9:11pm PDT
Re: We lost "discuss?" NOOOOOO HOW WILL THE FORUM SURVIVE OH GOD WHY DO THE G by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/02/2009, 9:36pm PDT
We are many (can't you read) NT by discuss. 10/02/2009, 11:39pm PDT
I can quickly gloss over by Mischief Maker 10/03/2009, 5:13am PDT
MM has figured it out why can't so many more? NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 8:06am PDT
I wouldn't EVEN call what he does "reading". by Jerry Whorebach 10/03/2009, 10:36am PDT
A delicious bacon sandwich is also involved somehow. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 10:43am PDT
This, for example. NT by Hans Clastorp 10/03/2009, 10:44am PDT
One hour and three minutes. (hits stopwatch) NT by Fortinbras 10/03/2009, 11:09am PDT
discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. NT by discuss. discuss. discuss. discuss. 10/03/2009, 7:10pm PDT
You'll be back. by Fortinbras 10/02/2009, 10:36pm PDT
Thanks guy! Fuck this has been a great month for my self-esteem. Except for the NT by part where my bike got stolen. -Z 10/02/2009, 11:47pm PDT
I suspect you wrote the original post. by Hans Clastorp 10/03/2009, 10:23am PDT
You suspect wrongly. by Zsenitan 10/03/2009, 11:18am PDT
Re: You suspect wrongly. by Eurotrash (status: slightly drunk) 10/04/2009, 3:31pm PDT
Um don't forget it's still possible to read old posts by people no longer funny NT by Please Provide Me w/Clarification 10/03/2009, 11:48am PDT
I do seem like the safe and lazy choice, it's true by I need clarification 10/03/2009, 3:03pm PDT
Not to mention the part where she calls out Mr. 3000 and Mysterious Stranger(!) by as the worst non-retarded posters. 10/03/2009, 5:11pm PDT
I'm going to guess one of her yoai friends NT by the obvious 10/03/2009, 6:47pm PDT
Have you checked between your asscheeks? NT by Entropy Stew 10/03/2009, 1:13pm PDT
there's no room, I'm not done licking etc. NT by up with pod people 10/03/2009, 1:18pm PDT
GIANT BIKE SEAT ENGULFING ASS NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/03/2009, 1:19pm PDT
front page and post the matching IPs NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/03/2009, 1:18am PDT
STOP PROMOTING SHENANIGAN VAN ALREADY, WE GET IT. NT by mark 10/04/2009, 3:08pm PDT
countdown to his next death threat NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/04/2009, 3:32pm PDT
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