Forum Overview :: Tales of the Sword Coast
My dick burns when I piss. by Quétinbec 12/06/2009, 8:55am PST
I have all the symptoms of chlamydia and gonorrhea but I can't see a doctor because there's a list of STD's, that once detected, get you thrown out of this country. Instead, I've been taking 4 times the recommended dosage of amoxycillin. It was used to treat gonorrhea 20 years ago - before it became resistant. It became resistant in a number of parts of the world. Fuck knows where my whore caught it but the drug isn't having much effect. Left untreated, these diseases can cause infertility. I like unprotected sex because I can pretend I'm getting a girl pregnant, but in pretending, I've probably destroyed my chances of actually getting anyone pregnant.

It still burns after 4 days on this shit. I've been taking so much of this stuff that my shit is watery farts and I have headaches. When people ask me what's wrong, I tell them I'm not getting enough sleep.

My best friend here comes to my place to cheat on his wife and two kids with a whore he sheltered and then fell in love with. I can't turn him away because he facilitated my whoring at his place while his wife was in England, and who am I to tell him to not be such a disgrace? What's worse is that I hardly care.

There are some whores I try to teach English. I wanted to get a free fuck out of it, but when they told me they really appreciated having a guy around who didn't want to fuck them, I decided to be a gentleman instead.

Talking to them is sad because they hate their job and don't want to be reminded of it. With sex, money, partners (whores can't have boyfriends) off limits, you're left talking about very dry subjects in very bad english.

They're all too depressed to do anything. They sit around their apartments watching TV and listening to love songs.

[24/11/2009 9:10:15 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: hi
[24/11/2009 9:10:20 p.m.] QB: hey
[24/11/2009 9:10:28 p.m.] QB: have you been reading the book?
[24/11/2009 9:11:00 p.m.] *** Call from [Chinese Prostitute] declined. ***
[24/11/2009 9:11:08 p.m.] *** Call ended ***
[24/11/2009 9:11:15 p.m.] QB: hey, i'm in the tv room at the moment
[24/11/2009 9:11:31 p.m.] QB: so i can't talk or i will upset my flatmates who are watching tv
[24/11/2009 9:11:53 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: ok
[24/11/2009 9:11:54 p.m.] QB: are you ok just chatting like this?
[24/11/2009 9:12:24 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i dno't like
[24/11/2009 9:12:29 p.m.] QB: why not?
[24/11/2009 9:12:49 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: if you like ok
[24/11/2009 9:13:00 p.m.] QB: just for tonight, ok?
[24/11/2009 9:13:10 p.m.] QB: i'm writing emails now
[24/11/2009 9:13:32 p.m.] QB: what are you doing now?
[24/11/2009 9:14:17 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i am joke
[24/11/2009 9:14:32 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i just went home
[24/11/2009 9:14:51 p.m.] QB: did you buy your hair clip?
[24/11/2009 9:15:13 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: yes
[24/11/2009 9:16:28 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i need for supper
[24/11/2009 9:16:37 p.m.] QB: what will you cook?
[24/11/2009 9:17:01 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: cake
[24/11/2009 9:17:09 p.m.] QB: that's not very healthy!
[24/11/2009 9:17:15 p.m.] QB: how about some vegetables instead?
[24/11/2009 9:17:26 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: and soup
[24/11/2009 9:17:35 p.m.] QB: what kind of soup?
[24/11/2009 9:18:25 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i like fragrant
[24/11/2009 9:18:42 p.m.] QB: what is fragrant soup?
[24/11/2009 9:19:21 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: vegetable
[24/11/2009 9:20:20 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i am are wait me ok
[24/11/2009 9:20:29 p.m.] QB: yep, i'll be online for the next hour
[24/11/2009 9:20:40 p.m.] QB: make yourself something nice to eat
[24/11/2009 9:20:54 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: thanks
[24/11/2009 9:21:03 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: (wave)
[24/11/2009 9:53:42 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: hi
[24/11/2009 9:54:27 p.m.] QB: how was your soup?
[24/11/2009 9:55:26 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: good i like china eat
[24/11/2009 9:55:40 p.m.] QB: you like chinese food
[24/11/2009 9:55:55 p.m.] QB: or, you could say...
[24/11/2009 9:56:02 p.m.] QB: "I like eating chinese food"
[24/11/2009 9:56:06 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: thank
[24/11/2009 9:56:33 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i thought you should sleep
[24/11/2009 9:56:44 p.m.] QB: i'll sleep in about 30 minutes
[24/11/2009 9:56:58 p.m.] QB: now, I’m reading the internet
[24/11/2009 9:57:01 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: :D
[24/11/2009 9:57:21 p.m.] QB: what are you doing for Eid?
[24/11/2009 9:59:05 p.m.] QB: the holiday that is starting on thursday
[24/11/2009 9:59:07 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: sorry i write the mistake
[24/11/2009 9:59:11 p.m.] QB: you know about Eid, right?
[24/11/2009 9:59:39 p.m.] QB: that's ok
[24/11/2009 9:59:48 p.m.] QB: don't worry if you make a mistake
[24/11/2009 9:59:51 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: sorry not hate for the mistake
[24/11/2009 10:00:05 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: you correct to me
[24/11/2009 10:00:24 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: want are you doing ?
[24/11/2009 10:00:53 p.m.] QB: i'm reading the internet
[24/11/2009 10:00:59 p.m.] QB: what about you?
[24/11/2009 10:02:18 p.m.] QB: what time will you stop working?
[24/11/2009 10:03:50 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: sometimes stop working
[24/11/2009 10:04:34 p.m.] QB: what else do you do?
[24/11/2009 10:04:37 p.m.] QB: do you like to read?
[24/11/2009 10:05:15 p.m.] QB: do you watch western movies?
[24/11/2009 10:07:46 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i want dobut i am have no many time
[24/11/2009 10:08:10 p.m.] QB: say, "i want to but i don't have enough time"
[24/11/2009 10:08:40 p.m.] QB: my ex-girlfriend used to make that excuse
[24/11/2009 10:08:44 p.m.] QB: i don't believe it
[24/11/2009 10:08:51 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: my work isn't good
[24/11/2009 10:08:55 p.m.] QB: i think you have enough time to watch movies and read books
[24/11/2009 10:08:59 p.m.] QB: i know your work isn't good
[24/11/2009 10:09:15 p.m.] QB: but watching movies and reading books would make you feel happier
[24/11/2009 10:12:49 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: you wait me i am write it
[24/11/2009 10:13:32 p.m.] QB: say, "please wait for me. i am writing"
[24/11/2009 10:19:19 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: why don't believes ex-girlfriend
[24/11/2009 10:19:46 p.m.] QB: why don't i believe my ex-girlfriend?
[24/11/2009 10:19:53 p.m.] QB: she always said she never had enough time to do anything that would have made her happier
[24/11/2009 10:20:33 p.m.] QB: everyone has enough time
[24/11/2009 10:20:49 p.m.] QB: don’t blame time
[24/11/2009 10:21:04 p.m.] QB: think about it more
[24/11/2009 10:24:44 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i know
[24/11/2009 10:26:34 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: I am very toired because the working hours is long
[24/11/2009 10:28:19 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: i can be hard
[24/11/2009 10:30:05 p.m.] [Chinese Prostitute]: good night see you tomorrow
[24/11/2009 10:42:23 p.m.] QB: good night, mandy

I teach "discourse management" to young Arab women who've been locked away all their lives and don't know how to talk to male strangers. There are none older than 22 but they're almost all married and hating it. They eventually tell you very sad things, but they're all trapped, so you can't offer them suggestions. What good would that do them? You tell them it's a shame and then correct their English and their life goes on.

Some of the sweetest, most faithful, hardest working Filipinos slave for months on what a whore makes in two fucks and what I make in half an hour. I try to tempt them away with my money but they're too good, and for showing restraint, the world crushes them, or they wind up with a 60 y/o American who'll have nothing better to do than let her save herself for marriage. A fat, slobbery piece of shit.

My family was badly affected by the credit problems. My Dad's been unemployed for over a year. Now he spends his days watching the history channel and playing Suduko. When my Mum Skypes about him and he's not in the room, she cries. When he is in the room, he says nothing as if he's not there, but I can sometimes hear him coughing.

He always said that anyone who buttons their suit jacket is a wanker. I think I and most people look better with a suit jacket buttoned, but out of respect for him, I don't button my suit jacket now. I think he'd be happy to know that, but even if we had a conversation, there'd be no comfortable way of slipping it in. I think it's a bad sign that I'm going those kind of lengths to express that respect to myself. I've never had to do things like that. If I was him, and I really thought about it, I'd probably take offense to that. That respect should be unspoken, as it's always been. Who am I trying to convince with these gestures? I shouldn't need to convince myself into respecting him. It should always be unconditional. If I've lost respect for him because he's going through hard times, then I am a piece of shit.

No longer able to depend on my parents as a fallback position, I tell myself I'll marry the Taiwanese girl if anything goes wrong here, but I haven't been able to Skype her for over three weeks because of time zone differences and busy schedules and now she tells me we need a serious talk this weekend.
My dick burns when I piss. by Quétinbec 12/06/2009, 8:55am PST NEW
    Watching Jersey Shore is pretty fun. by Fussbett 12/06/2009, 9:08am PST NEW
        Online pharmacies can take over a month to ship NT by Online pharmacy guy 12/06/2009, 12:55pm PST NEW
            Why is that, Online pharmacy guy? NT by Fussbett 12/06/2009, 9:53pm PST NEW
    Re: My dick burns when I piss. by motherfuckerfoodeater 12/06/2009, 9:41am PST NEW
        Re: My dick burns when I piss. by Quétinbec 12/07/2009, 7:50am PST NEW
            Hey guys, turns out I got AIDS! (January, 2010) NT by Quétinbec crystal ball 12/07/2009, 8:47am PST NEW
            Hey, Google maps! by motherfuckerfoodeater 12/07/2009, 8:52am PST NEW
                The gun is for the Jew. NT by Chairman Mao 12/07/2009, 8:58am PST NEW
                    do you know the jew, chairman mao NT by up with pod people 12/07/2009, 9:07am PST NEW
                        Yes NT by Chairman Mao 12/07/2009, 9:18am PST NEW
                            Oh has everybody heard the news, about the Jew. Jew Jew Jew, Jew is the News. NT by The Anti-Semitic Trashmen 12/07/2009, 10:36am PST NEW
                At least it's shame OR dickrot. It would really suck if it was both or something NT by Worm 12/07/2009, 9:38am PST NEW
                    Thats was me being charitable. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 12/07/2009, 11:37am PST NEW
                He can't get an Israeli stamp in his passport and go back to Dubai by I need clarification 12/07/2009, 3:24pm PST NEW
    Re: My dick burns when I piss. by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/06/2009, 12:46pm PST NEW
        so you would go to the doctor claiming QB's symptoms to get the scrip. by up with pod people 12/06/2009, 1:38pm PST NEW
            Re: so you would go to the doctor claiming QB's symptoms to get the scrip. by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/06/2009, 2:39pm PST NEW
                oh I don't think he's lying where's the fun in that. by up with pod people 12/07/2009, 8:44am PST NEW
                    PASS THE SALT, FAMILY NT by Mister Burke 12/07/2009, 7:17pm PST NEW
        TOTAL BULLSHIT by Mr. Copy 12/06/2009, 10:48pm PST NEW
            taken for Jerry: proudest day of Caltrops existence (sorry Jerry) NT by up with pod people 12/07/2009, 8:23am PST NEW
        Souffle of Pain already gave me an award for "best post in yearSSSSSSSSS" by what the fuck will it say? 12/07/2009, 6:16am PST NEW
        Re: My dick burns when I piss. by Quétinbec 12/07/2009, 7:51am PST NEW
            Re: My dick burns when I piss. by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/07/2009, 7:11pm PST NEW
    Caltrops Style Guide: Suit buttons by Dr. Marcus Bowen 12/06/2009, 1:54pm PST NEW
        Re: Caltrops Style Guide: Suit buttons by Quétinbec 12/07/2009, 8:00am PST NEW
    Amoxicillin won't cure chlamydia. by Chairman Mao 12/06/2009, 7:37pm PST NEW
        Re: Amoxicillin won't cure chlamydia. by motherfuckerfoodeater 12/06/2009, 11:26pm PST NEW
        Re: Amoxicillin won't cure chlamydia. by Quétinbec 12/07/2009, 8:07am PST NEW
            I stand corrected. by Chairman Mao 12/07/2009, 8:54am PST NEW
                Fauna. You stand corrected again. NT by Just stay standing. 12/07/2009, 10:03am PST NEW
                    Wrongo. Its referred to as flora. by Chairman Mao 12/07/2009, 10:11am PST NEW
                        Re: Wrongo. Its referred to as flora. by laudablepuss 12/07/2009, 12:31pm PST NEW
                            That's pretty weird! by laudablepuss 12/07/2009, 12:33pm PST NEW
    American McGee's Honda Syphilis NT by our foreign whorespondent 12/06/2009, 10:02pm PST NEW
    Post of the year. NT by Fortinbras 12/06/2009, 10:06pm PST NEW
    I hope Roop Dirump doesn't mind I ripped him off sort of. by Yuk Yuk Inc. 12/09/2009, 9:36pm PST NEW
        the bit with the star wars avatars talking about rape fantasies by Fullofkittens 12/10/2009, 4:25am PST NEW
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