 |
||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Junk VI by Fussbett 12/31/2009, 4:34pm PST | ||||
 |
 |
|||
| New Year's Eve, time to partyyyyyyyypost.
I'm going to be catching up on a lot of missed Caltrops in this post, so the chronology will be scrambled. First I want to talk about FABIO hating Bluray! He's fine with 480p and doesn't see what all the fuss is about. What resolution does FABIO play his computer games in? I hope he stays at 640x480 and doesn't sell out his belief system. I played Rock Band on the PS3 again and again was amazed at how horrible everything was. This time I got to see someone navigate the PSN store to buy a piece of DLC. They of course had to update the system first, which took forever (Xbox users, you will not believe how long this takes), and do all kinds of silly navigating into e-wallets and shit. Plus it took 5 minutes to download the actual song for reasons unknown, and then it didn't show up in the game until a reboot. $400+ is a lot to pay for Demon's Souls and Uncharted 2. Speaking of Rock Band, I can't believe no one likes singing at FullofKittens' house! "Really?" is played out. Adding "I mean really?" makes you an insufferable faggot cunt asshole. Also played out are zombies. Zombieland was better than expected, but I still waited to download it rather than see it in the theatre. That's how bored the #1 zombie movie fan is with zombies. Pokemon World Champion 2009 interview. [x] fat [x] lisp [x] facial tics. He came in with the roguest deck there. At the end of the summer I watched the air show. It happens here every year, but I'm always too jaded to bother. I see it from my car sometimes and go "that's pretty cool" but this year I biked down to the lakeshore to watch it and get sunstroke and it was awesome. My favourite part was after the Blue Angels did their thing, which was technical and tricky, an F-16 comes out and here's his trick: he goes fast as fucking fuck. It's so loud it feels like the world is ending. It's like the sky is being ripped in half. The speed of sound really fucks with you too, because often you'll turn your head towards a sound and you've already missed the jet scream by silently, far ahead of the sound it's making. It's also proof there is no God because if he got pissed and threw a tantrum when he saw the tower of Babel, watching an F-16 fly straight up and disappear into a speck in under 3 seconds should make him furious. Though perhaps God has mellowed out and just gave me sunstroke as a lesson. Next time I will wear a hat with a visor. Hoarders is the worst of the A&E Intervention spin-offs. It's the worst because not only is it disgusting to watch, but it's the same person over and over. A crazy hoarder, and guess what, they find it really difficult to throw things out. Stretch that out for 40 minutes. The better version of Hoarders is the UK show "How Clean is Your House?" because at least you have Kim and Aggie acting as the audience proxies, getting annoyed with the filthy people. In Hoarders the offenders are coddled and offered therapy. Obsessed is better, for the variety alone, but still nothing tops Intervention. I hate it when games or movies take the name of a real thing and make it something different like the Black Watch being a secret special force of the US government in Prototype. How hard is it to come up with a unique name for something in the age of Google? I don't mean to bag on FABIO twice in one post, but did no one else think it was hilarious when he complained about being bad at Steamshovel Harry? In solidarity with the game developers who get sued by Tim Langdell, many others have changed their games to add "Edge" to the title. It's like everyone saying "I am Spartacus" or "Veronica Fucked Umberto". I propose that Caltrops' official game, E. L. Koba's Space Fag, be renamed Edge (Space Fag). I can't see "Scribblenauts" without Supernaut coming into my head. First the Black Sabbath version, but then the live cover version with guest singer Trent Reznor's jorts: Dreamweaver won't spellcheck .XML files. It refuses! Refuses! A workaround is to save-as and change the extension to .html, fix any spelling errors, and re-save back to .xml. Or perhaps have a MS Word window open for copy-pasting as you work. This is in 2009! In my free time I'm playing through Torchlight, which is like videogame cotton candy, and after getting my Xbox back from a RROD servicing (replacement) I went back to GTAIV of all things. I'm having a great time re-visiting my old hang-outs as I decided to go through the most wanted list from the cop cars. There are 30 villains to catch in total, and I had a great time doing it. No canned anything or invisible triggers! It's old school GTA, and it forced me to find some areas of the city that I had never and would never explore like the maintenance stairs of the suspension bridges for example. And I didn't even know NOOSE had their own cruisers, I thought they just had the Hummers. How have I played 50 hours of this game and never used a NOOSE cruiser? One of the bad guy targets was lying face down on the floor of his hovel in a run down building. Drugs, no doubt! I kicked him so he'd at least stand up before I shot him in the back. GTAIV really benefits from retrospect and being done with the boring story missions. That's what happens when you put your mediocre game inside an incredible world that is an impressive human achievement in its own right. For comparison, do I want to revisit the boring and ugly but highly customizable and non-linear suburban sprawl of pseudo-LA in Saints Row 2? No, not at all. |
||||
 |
 |
|||
|
