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| Why do some people think insinuating gayness works as an insult? by Tansin A. Darcos (TDARCOS) 02/08/2012, 4:41am PST | ||||
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| From time to time some of the reprobates that infest this board get the "bright idea" that it will be some sort of devastating insult to claim someone - often me - is gay, sucks cock, takes it up the ass from some other guy, or other similar insult to try and "frighten" them. Why do they think this is going to work?
I'm 51 years old. I've heard all this stuff before and I'm comfortable enough with my own sexuality - which has been exclusively directed toward women - that throwing these sort of weak and ineffectual insults is like throwing mud at Teflon; it's not going to stick and I'll just allow it to slough off, unaffected by it. You know, if you're going to insult someone, it might help to find out what their weaknesses and pet peeves are in order to get something that will work, rather than being a robot who tries to use weak and hackneyed insults that don't work any more. Would you think that insulting a woman by saying she's no longer a virgin works any more? Yeah, it was a real devastating slander at one time (and technically is still slander if spoken or libel when written), but that probably stopped being insulting, oh, circa 1959 or so. But as for me, I don't know why some people think throwing the "gay" slur at me is going to work. I've never been interested in gay sex, or at least being "bottom." I'm not going to be the recipient of some gay guy's affections, i.e. the performer of some gay guy's stimulation. I mean, I'm not even that much interested in getting my dick sucked - even by a woman - because to the extent I could get sex I really was only interested in vaginal intercourse. And so I'm not the type to be interested in sucking off some guy. But some people here are so sophomoric and silly that they think throwing stupid insinuations that I'm gay or would be willing to do gay things (either top or bottom) and think that's going to get a rise out of me. Only really homophobic unstable men who aren't secure in their sexuality would rise to that sort of bait. Calling me gay or insinuating I'd play bottom in a gay relationship doesn't make me that way and trying to get a rise out of me that way is silly. I cleared all that crap out of my head more than 15 years ago the first time a gay guy (on-line) made a pass at me and I turned him down saying I don't swing that way. It actually surprised me a little that it didn't bother me; I realized how much I had matured. I distinguish between sexual practices and "playing bottom" in a gay relationship because I don't really think it's an issue. (I use "playing bottom" to be the one who performs blow jobs or is the one who is the recipient in anal sex.) Being "top" really makes the recipient's gender irrelevant. If a guy was in a dark room and got a really good blow job, it's only his personal fears of what it might mean as far as his own sexuality if he found out it wasn't his girlfriend who blew him but his "boyfriend'! Think about that for a moment. If you're a guy who likes receiving fellatio, it really doesn't matter whether the performer of the blow job is male or female. I've pointed out in some articles how there are a bunch of guys who are nominally heterosexual who've gotten blown by someone and have no idea the person who performed oral sex on them was another man (and would probably be horrified if they knew the truth). Ignorance is bliss, in their case. Same thing if you like doing anal sex, it really shouldn't make a whole lot of difference whether the person who's ass you stick your dick into is male or female. But too many guys don't think about this; they see it as fine and okay if their girlfriend blows them or they fuck her in the ass, but if they did it to a guy that makes them gay. It doesn't. I think most of us have been contaminated by fears of labeling and if we weren't, most of us would probably be some form of bisexual with a primary orientation, e.g. a guy might not be willing to accept doing blow jobs on other guys or being the recipient of anal sex, but has no problem if some guy blows him or is enthusiastic performing cunnilingus on a woman. And maybe a woman might not mind if some other woman performed oral sex on her. (This sort of thing is the kind of thing that guys would love to watch, apparently.) And some people might be up for anything either way, they don't have a specific primary orientation. I think the "problem" comes in because of "unusual" people. Like we - as in the general public - didn't know that Rock Hudson was bisexual but liked sex with men better, even though I think it was practically an open secret in the acting community. And, of course, it was almost advertised how Paul Lynde was gay (but when he was alive I was too young to understand "gay" vs. "straight" and wouldn't have known the difference.) But I suspect that because being labeled as other than straight either still has negative connotations or the person who might be labeled that way is themselves strongly homophobic, and thus even the thought of being thought of as potentially gay or bi sends some people - mostly men, I suspect - into paraodoxyms of terror. |
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Why do some people think insinuating gayness works as an insult? by 02/08/2012, 4:41am PST  Fag NT by 02/08/2012, 5:30pm PST Comfortable with my sexuality NT by 02/08/2012, 8:28pm PST Re: Why do some people think insinuating gayness works as an insult? by 02/08/2012, 9:23pm PST Re: Why do some people think insinuating gayness works as an insult? by 02/09/2012, 12:13pm PST It's like throwing mud at Teflon, or semen at your tonsils. It won't stick NT by 02/09/2012, 1:45pm PST I agree. You should stop posting in protest. NT by 02/09/2012, 5:53am PST If you really want to protest, do what that guy did and blow your house up! NT by 02/09/2012, 12:14pm PST Yoink NT by 02/09/2012, 2:27pm PST |
