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by Fussbett 01/28/2003, 6:48am PST |
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[ January 28, 2003. 6:00am ] An airbag saved my life[ mood | O_o surprised ]
[ music | Thursday -- Understanding in a Car Crash ]
So, I'm totally like going West bound on Dundas Street, thinking that I'll finish my errands and then later meet up with Craig and Noel or Colin and watch Fear Factor (and maybe finish off the DVDs of The Prisoner (we're only on episode 8 right now (I hope Number Six gets off the island soon!)) LOL! (ROFL! :))). This woman was going to make a turn from East bound to North at a traffic light intersection. Since I'm coming at her, she has to wait for me to get through the intersection. Instead, because of perhaps poor timing (obviously not a video game player or musician! LOL!) she decides to make the turn TOTALLY as I was TOTALLY WAY too close to TOTALLY being IN the intersection. I slammed on the brakes and fortunately slowed down enough to live through the accident.
In fact, the very last though that went through my head was "Well, I'm not going to die from this..."
What happens when a Mazda MX6 T-bones a Chrysler New Yorker. The particle effects are actually snow. It's a 1995 car, and Mazda parts are very expensive (most BMW parts are cheaper, oddly) so my precious rin^H^H^Hcar is a write-off. The New Yorker was drive-able after the accident IF THE COP LET THE WOMAN DRIVE OFF WITHOUT A LICENSE. More on that later. Hey, have any of you been inside a car when the airbags go off? It's fucking EXCITING.
One nano-second there is no airbag, and the next nano-second you're punched in the face by a fucking airbag! Your entire field of vision is ALL AIRBAG! They fucking materialize out of thin fucking air! The only safety device in the world that ASSAULTS YOU. Notice that the force required to pop the airbag cracks the windsheild! No, the airbag didn't save my life, but I would've been worse off without them. As it stands my only injury is that my knee slammed into the lower part of the dash. Don't take that for granted though -- my knee is key to the entire walking operation.
Despite realizing that it was going to be a very minor collision right before hitting, I was still no where near ready for the impact (can you tell?! (Am I talking too fast?!)) Immediately after the car rolled to a stop and I assessed that I was alive, I thought the car was on fire. In The Getaway for the PS2, heavy smoke in the car soon leads to your character being on fire, so I quickly pushed CIRCLE to exit the vehicle. Turns out that the smoke is actually from the magic that makes the airbags inflate. Brimstone? It also stinks like shit, so it may be that the power of the human fart is what inflates airbags. Anyway, enough about the airbags.
The woman I hit had no driver's license nor insurance. She was still in the cop car when I left the scene. She might be in jail now for all I know. I'm glad. Did I mention that my knee hurts? She also said "You had your turn signal on! I thought you were turning!". I point at my car, still all lights on and say "Look, no turn signal on. I'm also in the center lane". She then changed direction (which she is not very good at!!!!!) and insisted that I was speeding.
When I was in the back of the cop car ready to give the story while the cop talked to witnesses, I thought for a second that I might vomit. I then realized that you can't escape from the back seat of a cop cruiser. So now here's me, the guy on COPS, banging on the window to get Officer Coppy's attention. He wanted nothing to do with me! I was the boy who cried puke, because there was no vomit. In retrospect I wish I did spew all over his car interior, as that would've taught him a lesson about his fellow man or something. Later the tow truck guys told me (a wealth of accident-related information, them) that not only is it nerves that makes people nauseous but also breathing in the noxious airbag fumes. Ahh, enough about airbags.
As the night wears on I realize that I've probably also got the classic "TENSE EVERY MUSCLE BEYOND CAPACITY" strain that most drivers get in an accident. You grip the wheel until it bends, push the brake pedal through the firewall, and grit your teeth until they crack... All at once and for a split second. I'm going to be sore tomorrow.
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I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Fussbett 01/28/2003, 6:48am PST 
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 8:03am PST
Newbie! That's a rookie accident! by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 9:59am PST
Yeah, but did you have your camera with you? NO (nt) NT by Choson 01/28/2003, 10:08am PST
No, and I didn't write a funny article about it. Nice visual aids. NT by Fullofkittens 01/28/2003, 4:18pm PST
You want a newbie? Try me. by Senor Barborito 01/28/2003, 10:38am PST
I've never been in a car accident, because I'm afraid of driving. (nt) by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 11:10am PST
update by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 2:44am PST
Re: update by laudablepuss 01/29/2003, 3:34am PST
How Zseni got taken into custody. by Zseni 01/28/2003, 11:32am PST
Whenever the cops bust me for shit like that... by Jhoh Creexul 01/28/2003, 1:37pm PST
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Motherhead 01/28/2003, 2:18pm PST
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Entropy Stew 01/28/2003, 5:06pm PST
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by laudablepuss 01/28/2003, 6:57pm PST
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by veronica 01/28/2003, 9:12pm PST
Stupid Teenage Driving by creativepig 01/28/2003, 11:52pm PST
You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 12:59am PST
Physician, heal thyself by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 1:20am PST
Re: You guys suck by veronica 01/29/2003, 1:40am PST
Just remember, honey: when they tease you it means they like you. by Zseni 01/29/2003, 2:17am PST
And when they follow from #ga to tease, I ban (more) by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 2:43am PST
Chet is dead, long live Chet [nt] NT by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 2:47am PST
Fag -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 3:33pm PST
Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 3:24am PST
shut the fuck up, you worthless troll -nt- NT by ydrt 01/29/2003, 4:25am PST
I've trolled before, plenty of times, and this guy is not a troll. by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:57am PST
Re: You guys suck by motherhead 01/29/2003, 7:26am PST
Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 1:27pm PST
Re: You guys suck by spanky 01/30/2003, 7:25pm PST
Rule 1? by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 10:15pm PST
Re: You guys suck- yes i just noticed this. by motherhead 01/31/2003, 6:39am PST
For what it's worth . . . by Senor Barborito 01/31/2003, 8:42am PST
You're both fags. I'ms starting to agree with that other faggot -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/31/2003, 12:12pm PST
Stop. Seriously, stop. by I need clarification 02/01/2003, 7:14pm PST
Re: Stop. Seriously, stop. by RichardSimmonshead 02/02/2003, 1:43am PST
The '04 Motherhead comes standard with crumple zones and its own cock garage-nt- NT by Entropy Stew 02/02/2003, 5:45am PST
heated seats too... by motherhead 02/02/2003, 6:50am PST
I didn't even touch you this time! by Lurker390 02/02/2003, 11:52am PST
This was lame when I was Ninja :< NT by Ninja 02/03/2003, 4:13am PST
Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:54am PST
Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 12:22pm PST
Re: You guys suck by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 1:31pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 2:58pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 3:13pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 3:33pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 3:36pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Zseni 01/29/2003, 3:59pm PST
Excuse me, what did you say? by laudablepuss 01/29/2003, 6:08pm PST
clarification by a spectator 01/30/2003, 6:43pm PST
Re: clarification by laudablepuss 01/30/2003, 7:01pm PST
Re: clarification by Entropy Stew 01/30/2003, 7:38pm PST
Minor Chet defense (!) by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:16pm PST
Yes. by mrs. johnson 01/30/2003, 8:21pm PST
'Gothiest Post Of The Year Award' winner right here -NT- NT by Senor Barborito 01/30/2003, 8:31pm PST
something makes more sense now - BONUS: recap of final OMM posts by a spectator 01/30/2003, 9:15pm PST
Man, can we move on yet? (Nt) NT by Choson 01/30/2003, 10:17pm PST
I agree with this masked man. It's embarassing. (NT) by Fussbett 01/30/2003, 10:36pm PST
Put it in a FAQ and let's shut up about it already. by Bill Dungsroman 01/31/2003, 11:16am PST
Too easy for me to fall into this trap by Entropy Stew 01/31/2003, 1:12pm PST
Yeah, this is getting too retarded even for me. by laudablepuss 01/31/2003, 11:37am PST
Re: You guys suck by E. L. Koba 01/29/2003, 11:04pm PST
Too early to render judgement by no one you'd know 02/02/2003, 12:13pm PST
Actually, once I calmed down by Senor Barborito 02/02/2003, 7:54pm PST
I need Atorification by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 3:21pm PST
Worst reply ever by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 3:51pm PST
Nah, I've made worse replies by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 4:15pm PST
Re: Nah, I've made worse replies by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 4:26pm PST
Then this is a convenient time to mention your ass tastes funny anyway by Bodybag 01/29/2003, 5:08pm PST
ARGH USURPED AGAIN - DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! -NT NT by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 5:10pm PST
MY SECRET: A BOX OF ARM 'N' HAMMER -nt- NT by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 5:33pm PST
I was going to call all of you fags, but... by Bill Dungsroman 01/29/2003, 5:52pm PST
You had me at 'histrionic' . . . *sniffle* -NT- by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 6:02pm PST
Now I need clarification by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 6:39pm PST
(sigh) okay, I'll do it for you... by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 5:40pm PST
The faggot unmasked! by Columbo 01/29/2003, 6:17pm PST
Re: The faggot unmasked! by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 6:25pm PST
Keep trying by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:07pm PST
Argue? About what? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:33pm PST
Re: Argue? About what? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 8:42pm PST
Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:10pm PST
Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:24pm PST
Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 9:39pm PST
Re: Oh, that was you? by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 10:18pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 11:43am PST
Re: You guys suck by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 3:02pm PST
Re: You guys suck by Jhoh Creexul 01/29/2003, 4:37pm PST
Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by Senor Barborito 01/29/2003, 4:52pm PST
Re: Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by I need clarification 01/29/2003, 10:23pm PST
Re: Nobody is, see ES's final ruling in the rules thread -NT- by Entropy Stew 01/29/2003, 10:58pm PST
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by Mischief Maker 01/28/2003, 7:36pm PST
You drove a Mazda? Jesus Fuck. n/T NT by mrs. johnson 01/28/2003, 9:04pm PST
As I will again in the summer when the Mazda RX-8 comes out. by Fussbett 01/29/2003, 2:55am PST
Well... by mrs. johnson 01/29/2003, 9:47pm PST
Aerosmith video from early 90's claims latest copycat victim. by Bodybag 01/28/2003, 11:18pm PST
Re: Aerosmith video from early 90's claims latest copycat victim. by veronica 01/29/2003, 12:20am PST
Now THIS is how you wreck by Bodybag not copy+pasting from PoE 01/29/2003, 11:08pm PST
Re: I'm amazed that I survived / an airbag saved my life by I bet that bitch would have stopped 01/30/2003, 10:59pm PST
MC sighting $counter++ by not mc 02/02/2003, 12:22pm PST
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