Caltrops - Site Comments - Caltrops: The Rules

Forum Overview :: Site Comments

by Admineral Zsenijeim 03/11/2003, 11:15pm PST

As the last sane person with even the most tangential claim to authority around here, I feel it necessary to illuminate the rules of this site with no rules.

1. Barbie is allowed two posts a day; they may only be related to gaming or internet culture or politics. Little Crow may not post here. V may only post with my (i.e. Zsenijeim's) permission.

2. The following names are fucking forbidden, you cocksucking clowns: Chet, Binro, the janitor. Don't try cute workaround names either. They are off-topic, permanently.

3. Correct spelling, grammar, and syntax are non-optional. All posts demonstrating poor English - especially "folksy" or "dialectical" English - will be summarily deleted.

4. Don't link to anything except other posts on the site. This is a closed campus.

5. Site admins are required to maintain an attitude of painful well-starched self-righteousness and details-obsession at all times; they must never let on for a second that they are doing anything here but serious work for which they are well compensated (with benefits, retirement package.)

6. This site is sacred. Keep it that way.

7. The following subjects must be posted on within these quotas (given as percentages of total posting volume):

OMM: 8%

Monty: 3%

Self-referential humor: 15%

The War: 14%

I need clarification/replies thereof: 51%

Site rules/trivialities: 52%
8. Zseni is the most interesting and entertaining poster on Caltrops. Fangirls in the Mist is the best material in the Articles portion of the site and Cabaret Voltron is the best forum. The way to get in good at Caltrops is to dance on eggshells around Zseni.

9. Site existence comes before all the reasons for the site's existence. (Also known as The Chinese Communist Promise Principle or TCCPP)

10. Please, for god's sake, justify everything you do here with an unholy admixture of cowardice and humorlessness.