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| A Call to Action by Derek Lollerson, PhD 06/05/2003, 12:57am PDT | ||||
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| The administrator stretched. Slowly, he closed his eyes and forced his head to turn to the left. Opening them, he found himself staring at something strange, something unfamilar. It was off-white, and strangely textured. Tenatively, he touched the surface, wondering at its perfectly perpendicularity to the floor. Slowly, he remembered. "This is a wall!" screamed one of the many feminine and lazy sounding voices in his head. Recognition returned. A wall it was, directly adjacent to his computer table. Once again, he found him in the undesirable state of not staring at his computer monitor.
Flustered, he became aware of certain bodily needs, and attended to them quickly and efficiently, rolling his chair to the bucket several yards away. Incredible pain immediately lanced through his brain. "Internet withdrawal again", said a slightly less feminine but much more screechy voice in his brain. Alarm klaxons sounded, and our hero instinctively strafed his left and crouched, searching for the threat. He quickly found that it was nothing more than his caltrops alarm, informing him of a new post to his mighty forums. Slowly, so as to not embarrass himself in front of his many internal monologues, he walked back to his beloved chair and sat. It was a dire situation. A person from a chat channel he had victoriously quit forever had posted to his forums. Immediately he went into action, searching the internet for a program written by someone else with which he could automatically ban the offender. Having successfully pasted, he moved on to the next stage. Preemption. Across town, a jolly rotund man's largely unused computer beeped. "I didn't even know I turned that thing on today" thought the corpulent crusader. Frowning back at his desk, he sighed. Covering it were white sheets of paper with his crayon drawings of what he wanted his secretary to make the power point slide du jour to look like. "Duty calls, I suppose" he thought, lumbering across the room and removing the dust cover from his monitor. It was a call to action. "Quickly Fatman! Look out your window!!! 
"Inertia is a bitch", thought Fatman, as he strained to get his various portly pieces turning towards the window. Unable to tilt the area most would call a neck, Pork Knight leant back to stare up to the heavens 
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