Caltrops - Rants - Zseni, Schmeni

Forum Overview :: Rants

by Lurking Flypaper 08/03/2003, 5:26am PDT

So there I was, propped up in an office chair. More of a paid fixture than a lucrative asset, occasionally clicking the mouse's left button on an arbitrarily selected link or typing "FUCKFUCKFUCK" in wordpad so any passers by would think I was actually interested in keeping my job, wishing my cubicle was a designated smoking area. I could almost taste the wet sting of tar at the end of a soggy filter as I zoomed in, one by one, on the letters C-A-L-T-R-O-P-S, yellow attacked by purple on all fronts. A losing army holding its own.

"So it is like this," I hear from a neighboring cubicle, too interested in the insanity of a mumbling Senor, an occassional "I'm so pretty, I fly like a bumble bee, sting like a..." from an aging Dungsroman, losing the snap at the end of his left, and laughing at the faggotry of a mrs. johnson that can't form a sentence without the approval of his treehouse gang. S'mores, anyone?

AIM logs, game reviews, POLITICS. Blindsided by that one. Bill must have thrown a right. Discombobulation. None of it makes sense. "Keep up the good work," says the boss, as I think about what a text blowjob would feel like. I could get one here, I think, as I move onto the next website.

"I'll probably come back," I say, to nobody in particular, looking at my coffee; the remains of a room temperature tan liquid floating at the bottom of ring-stained ceramic, "the next time I feel gay."