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by Zsenicorpse 07/06/2006, 7:23pm PDT |
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I ran into this tireless young actor/dynamo by accident. It turns out that he has made a movie and is undoubtedly a raving homosexual -- not in a bad way! It turns out he has been involved in some other movie stuff, most notably as Hollywood's go-to guy for yak hair, and some of his goodies are unlisted and strangely appealing.
Unsurprisingly, he has a wikipedia entry with a lot of positive things to say about him! It is the legacy of robots and lists of numbers. There's every chance that he is in your extended network, or you might catch him at Costco wolfing down the $1.50 hot dog and soda beloved of Asians everywhere. I get the feeling he's wondering who he'll call in for his next big script. (Poignant topical moment of honesty: "Producer/Director. Dereko McKinley-who is this guy anyway?")
All his friends talk just like him - a fast flat patter, full of sound and energy but no actual content. Like the chit chat of department store mannequins!
But enough of my yapping... let's hear from the man himself! Even though Tewt fucking HATES me for no good reason, he might appreciate some of these tips for breaking into showbiz. Or, even if Tewt's movie career is dead dead deadsky, he still might need some tips for living in LA. Like "People in LA drive like maniacs and a good number of them are very violent. Some carry guns. Don't think that drivers in LA are friendly...they're NOT!
Bad News Graphics Alert! Apply it to everything before this. Also everything after this. Also, speaking of graphics...
When you're Johnny Kim, you have a secret past and spiritual energy permeates your whole existence. I found this out using the hidden martial arts power of DMOZ.
Secret past aside, at least you can count on having Johnny Kim merchandising opportunities at your fingertips. Speaking of which, here's something Johnny Kim has which I don't have. And he has two of them!
There are a million guys like him, undoubtedly a million guys undoubtedly just like him. But this post is about Johnny Kim.
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Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by Zsenicorpse 07/06/2006, 7:23pm PDT 
Who cares? by Anonymous Coward (in a Camaro) 07/06/2006, 11:48pm PDT
I guess you don't. by Zsenicorpse 07/07/2006, 2:20pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by I need clarification 07/10/2006, 2:11pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by Zsenicorpse 07/10/2006, 2:21pm PDT
Holy shit, you've hit bottom. NT by I need clarification 07/10/2006, 2:28pm PDT
You don't like peccaries? by Zsenicorpse 07/10/2006, 2:29pm PDT
Of course you do. by Cheap shot machine 07/10/2006, 6:15pm PDT
Re: Holy shit, you've hit bottom. by laudablepuss 07/10/2006, 3:45pm PDT
We're best friends. NT by INC and Creexul 07/10/2006, 3:48pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by REMOVE OR FACE SLANDER LAWSUIT! 03/10/2008, 9:21pm PDT
BEST NEWS ALL DAY. by mark 03/10/2008, 9:39pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by REMOVE OR FACE SLANDER LAWSUIT! - 03/10/2008, 11:27pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by REMOVE!!!!!!!!! 03/10/2008, 11:28pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by Souffle of Pain 03/10/2008, 11:48pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/11/2008, 12:37am PDT
Criminal charges will be bench pressed. by The Lawyer (new WWE character) 03/11/2008, 12:41am PDT
Also the "Face Lander" NT by The Lawyer (new WWE character) 03/11/2008, 12:45am PDT
YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING WHEN THE OWNER AND POSTER ARE IN JAIL! NT by REMOVE OR FACE SLANDER LAWSUIT! 03/11/2008, 1:00am PDT
I'll be laughing NT by Souffle of Pain 03/11/2008, 1:03am PDT
Re: I'll be laughing by REMOVE!!!!!!!!! 03/18/2008, 11:22pm PDT
Zseni once compiled grannies and porn. So, I agree, I guess. NT by Fussbett 03/19/2008, 12:20am PDT
Yeah, she was never really brought to justice for that by Souffle of Pain 03/19/2008, 12:41am PDT
The law firm of REMOVE!!!, REMOVE!!!!! and er... the char limit can hit at any t NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2008, 12:57am PDT
I've always argued that the "first strike" slander laws were too tough. NT by Fussbett 03/11/2008, 1:08am PDT
TO THE SITE OWNER OF CALTROPS PLEASE REMOVE OR WE WILL SUE YOU! by REMOVE!!!!!!!!! 03/18/2008, 11:25pm PDT
Johnny Kim indicted on Baby Rape Charges by Google 03/18/2008, 11:52pm PDT
I've removed everything. Please don't sue us. NT by Zsenicorpse 03/19/2008, 3:25pm PDT
Re: I've removed everything. Please don't sue us. by REMOVE!!!!!!!!! 03/20/2008, 11:17pm PDT
It is all gone. Please refresh your browser. We have complied. NT by Zack Weigart 03/20/2008, 11:24pm PDT
Actionbutton.net is going to be really surprised by that subpoena NT by Fussbett 03/21/2008, 3:36am PDT
Blame your Congressman, Jackie Chan. :( by laudablepuss 03/19/2008, 2:11pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by Fussbett 03/10/2008, 11:31pm PDT
Re: Who is Derek D. "Johnny" Kim? by Quentin Beck 05/15/2008, 10:14pm PDT
No Jerry, we're not going to remove or face charges. NT by Jerry whorebot 2.0 05/15/2008, 10:43pm PDT
Wait a sec, what about THESE guys? http://www.voy.com/215833/ by The Warezwolf 03/10/2008, 11:56pm PDT
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