Having only been a father for the better part of four years, I'm amazed that I've already managed to screw it up. My son, who was too weak to breath on his own when he was born, has already grown strong enough to be beyond my control. It appears that I have not instilled in him a clear understanding of the difference between wanting and having. His stubborn insistence on wanting things he can't have has driven me to desperation.

As a result, I spanked him. I used to laugh when I heard a dad in the movies say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." Suddenly, that isn't so funny to me anymore. I'm certain that the punishment was more scary than painful for him. It probably got my point across too. Problem is, that's not the type of parent I wanted to be.

When I was a kid, I was spanked frequently. It didn't stop me from making bad choices. It didn't prevent me from getting into trouble, trying drugs and alcohol, or staying out late with girls. So I was determined to not use spanking as a disciplinary tool. Don't get me wrong, I think I turned out alright. I don't think the spankings had any detrimental effects. If it works for you and your kid isn't getting hurt, then fine.

As I see it, the only thing a kid learns from a spanking is that hitting is one way of getting what you want. The whole concept of beating a child until they obey you just rubs me the wrong way. I know that a kid's mind isn't up to the task of understanding the reasons behind everything we ask them to do. Sometimes they just need to do what we tell them to without question, even if it's not something they want to do. There's got to be a way to communicate this to a four year old. I just don't know how. So the only option I can think of when my son constantly tell me "NO!" to the most fundamental things like "Eat your dinner" or "Get out of the car so we can go to the zoo" or "Please stop jumping" [or "Getting the PSP now is sort of like holding the future in your hand." -ed] is that he needs to be spanked.

I know that folks are divided about what the right path is. Some insist that a child will be spoiled unless he is spanked. Others claim that hitting a child teaches him to hit and causes a cycle of abuse that can be passed down through countless generations. I don't know what's "right" but I do know how I feel about spanking. I hate it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to pass the concept of hitting your child down to my son. I don't want any potential grandchildren to be beaten.

That puts me into this impossible situation. I'm pretty certain that my son is well on the way to being spoiled. My wife and I have both read books about discipline and raising well-adjusted children. Nothing seems to work. So what's a parent to do?

Sunday I attended the world premiere of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" at Radio City Music Hall with my lovely wife. We had a great time. The movie was great as well. In fact, it's my favorite of the three films. I wrote a review of it at 10100.org so go take a look at that, if you like. It took me hours of struggling with Dreamweaver and Photoshop to get the thing looking how I wanted. Then I had problems with the 10100 server as well.