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| Surreal wanted a writer (AIM log) by Fussbett 02/14/2007, 11:44am PST | ||||
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| Game developer Surreal wanted to contract a "funny" writer, so I sent them some links to a bunch of my least in-jokey Caltrops posts. The Rygar review, the 2003 blackout, etc. Unfortunately Surreal is no easily impressed Brad Listi, or perhaps Surreal has something against the comedy of homophobia and racism. I'll never know why they didn't get back to me, but I guess I'm now able to post this AIM log where INC and I talk about Drakan. For days after I mentioned I was showing some writing to Surreal, INC would zing me with lines like "Wow, save that for Surreal" anytime I made a bad joke. This AIM log takes place right after one of those times...
INC: The Suffering INC: The Suffering: Ties That Bind INC: Drakan INC: "to be fair, a lot of people laughed at Drakan" INC: you should lead off with that INC: "I don't know why you're looking outside the company - you guys crack me up all the time." Sanitario666: Yeah, do a stand-up routine right in the e-mail, eh? Sanitario666: "So, Surreal... What's with all the Suffering already? What are you guys... Catholic?!" Sanitario666: "Just kidding, just kidding." INC: "I love the Catholics! So much better than the Jews, am I right?" Sanitario666: "So, Ties That Bind... Do I detect a little S&M? You Catholics -- always with the guilt and the suffering, but then you guys sure know how to sin!" Sanitario666: "Seriously though, great game. Great game." INC: "Speaking of Sin, did that game suck or what? I have it ranked on my Worst Games of All Time, right above... Drakan" Sanitario666: "Drakan? DraKAN'T!" INC: "more like DRECK-an" Sanitario666: yeesh. Thanks Mort Drucker. INC: go for the gold of not funny Sanitario666: That one physically hurt me Sanitario666: How long did it take you pencil neck GEEKS to come up with a fuckin' name like DRAKAN? Let's see... It's about DRA-GONS. How about DRA-KAN?! OH, LOOK, I'M A FUCKING DICK SUCKING GENIUS! OHHH! Sanitario666: (Dice) INC: haha INC: Drakan? I was like, "motherfucker, what the fuck is a motherfucker Drakan? Sounds like somethin' one of us niggas would name our kids. This here's my boy DRAKAN. It's African for 'Can't play for shit!'" INC: (Pryor) Sanitario666: nice Sanitario666: Seriously, which ever one of you made Drakan... kill yourselves. I'm not joking. This is not a joke. Just go and fucking kill yourselves and do the world a favour to be rid of your stupid presence. Sanitario666: (Bill Hicks) Sanitario666: IF YOU'RE PLAYING DRAKAN BECAUSE IT'S THE LATEST GAME THAT YOUR CRAPPY MACHINE CAN RUN... Then you might be a redneck. Sanitario666: (That redneck joke guy) INC: (Jeff Foxworthy) Sanitario666: (thanks) INC: I played Drakan once. (long pause) INC: (Steven Wright) INC: And WHAT'S the DEAL with Drakan? Is it a Dragon? Is it a Drakan? Did they change the name while we weren't looking? Is this happening everywhere? Is it bakel now instead of bagel? INC: (Jerry Seinfeld) Sanitario666: Man, I played that Drakan computer video entertainment game... They really use the word "game" loosely there! After a while I was like "Man, I don't even want to kill these other dragons. Let's just be friends and breath some fire together." A dragon never asks anyone for a light. Sanitario666: (Mitch Hedberg) INC: Okay okay okay okay like like like I was playing DRAKAN, right? I mean, DRAAAAKAN!!! What's UP? Yo, I'm chillin' right now, just playin' some Drakan. No, for real, for real! It's like the worst excuse you can come up with. You might as well say you were in astronaut training! INC: (Dane Cook) Sanitario666: Whoa topical! INC: yeah, also I've only seen like two minutes of him, so that impression might be way off Sanitario666: it's pretty good INC: I was trying to imagine a guy running around stage nonstop. |
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Surreal wanted a writer (AIM log) by 02/14/2007, 11:44am PST  Re: Surreal wanted a writer (AIM log) by 02/15/2007, 3:01pm PST If you don't like the Rygar review, I don't WANT to work for you! by 02/15/2007, 10:37pm PST You're in danger of having too many failures and giving up. But don't. by 02/26/2007, 7:00pm PST try telling that to.. CHARLES DICKENS NT by 02/16/2007, 9:02am PST Drakan was number two on the August, 1999 Softrend chart. NT by 02/26/2007, 7:10pm PST |
