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by Steely McBeam 02/14/2008, 3:36am PST |
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Bein' a professional mascot, you learn a thing or two. For instance: if you dress up like a giant rat, Mickey or Chuck E. or whoever, people are gonna kick you in the balls. It's a universal truth. I use to wonder, "if Mickey was a real guy, would folks still have such a hard-on for his gonads?" Then I found out how many body guards that Michael Cera kid needs. Kid ain't done nothin' to nobody, and still every a-hole in the general vicinity wants to crush his grapes. It's enough to make a gay steelworker lose his faith in humanity. |
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