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by Jerry Whorebach 06/23/2008, 4:56pm PDT |
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Apparently the province came into some money recently, no one knows where they got it (enviro levies? federal grant, maybe?) but they were supposed to use it to stop global warming or some bullshit. And that's where the story would have ended, with millions of dollars being frivolously squandered on something scientists can't even agree is a real thing... IF we hadn't elected such a hard-charging maverick Liberal government that knows "party lines" are for desperate losers and skanks. They invented something called a "Climate Action Dividend," which in less scientific terms is also known as a cheque for $100, and everybody got one in their mailbox today.
Now, there are a lot of things you can buy with $100, but if you're anything like the average Liberal voter there's really only one: a nearly-full tank of gas for your 1989 Ford F-150 Super Duty. Sadly, I don't own an awesome cowboy truck because I'm not (technically) an awesome cowboy, so I'll have to come up with something else to spend my "green money" on (it's not really green, it's pink like all Canadian money, but it comes from the environment so...). That's why, all this week, I'll be taking suggestions on the most patriotic shit I could possibly kick with $100. I already checked the Canadian Tire flier and it's not enough for an outdoor grill to grill steaks on my balcony, so that's out, but pretty much everything else is fair game.
Dazzle me with your fancy plans and pants to match, Caltrops! Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, is counting on you! |
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I'm feeling pretty satisfied with my government right about now. by Jerry Whorebach 06/23/2008, 4:56pm PDT 
Send $100 of poutine to me as a sign of diplomatic goodwill. by Last 06/23/2008, 5:23pm PDT
Unworkable. Bomb-sniffing dogs love poutine, as do fatty customs officers NT by (which is all of them) 06/23/2008, 5:29pm PDT
For Canadians, the most patriotic thing would be $100 worth of leaves. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 06/23/2008, 6:30pm PDT
In the wild, maple leaves are a good indicator that maple syrup is nearby. NT by You're from MI, you should KNOW. 06/23/2008, 6:54pm PDT
Re: I'm feeling pretty satisfied with my government right about now. by Choson 06/24/2008, 9:24pm PDT
From the way that he goes on about cowboy hats I thought Alberta NT by Fortinbras 06/24/2008, 10:14pm PDT
Re: From the way that he goes on about cowboy hats I thought Alberta by Choson 06/24/2008, 11:14pm PDT
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh NT by it's about to get real 06/25/2008, 1:05am PDT
I've spent most of the last 20 YEARS in BC. Thanks for noticing >:( by Jerry Whorebach 06/25/2008, 2:52am PDT
Re: I've spent most of the last 20 YEARS in BC. Thanks for noticing >:( by Choson 06/25/2008, 8:07pm PDT
Re: I've spent most of the last 20 YEARS in BC. Thanks for noticing >:( by Choson 06/25/2008, 8:09pm PDT
My meat name in meatworld isn't Whorebach or EVEN Jerry. Sadly. by Jerry Whorebach 06/26/2008, 5:09am PDT
What kind of boat? NT by I need clarification 06/26/2008, 10:11am PDT
26' Fagmaster. I don't fucking know, it was old and cramped and had a big mast. by Jerry Whorebach 06/26/2008, 11:43pm PDT
Did you eat fish-sticks? Keep them frozen in a freezer on the boat? NT by I need clarification 06/27/2008, 12:33am PDT
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