Caltrops - Alien: Isolation





	[quote name="Giga Chode"]Ever find yourself starting to develop dating profile spidey sense, where something seems perfectly fine on the surface but your experience over time has hammered it into a red flag? Some might call you a picky unreasonable asshole, but pain is the best teacher and you know better. [quote]These things are good: Ice cream and cake, A ride on a Harley, Seeing monkeys in the trees, The rain on my tongue, And the sun... shining on my face.[/quote] I call these "the Rocky Dennis". Anyone who types out chicken soup for the self affirmation is going to have the personality of a coffee table. [quote]Things that describe me: loyal Values: loyalty[/quote] "My ex boyfriend cheated on me and I'm still carrying that chip. The one thing that I brag about bringing to the table is the absolute bare minimum of 'I won't go fucking other people!' " [quote]hobbies: lifting[/quote] MAGA cunts. <i>Every</i> single time. <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1325417049/photo/a-mans-best-friend.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=91s2BABK9zJCh_53QTApEhDiNDKzLG9eBz_9-m4APMI="> Dogs are fine. A picture with your dog is fine. More than one dog picture or "dog mom" is a swipe left. [quote]dislikes: cats[/quote] There's no bigger hidden red flag for an asshole than someone who "loves" dogs but hates cats. You are no longer an animal lover. You probably don't even love the dogs, but just love the feeling of having some living thing that can be trained and controlled. Cats don't fit that bill, but a sucker human man could! <img src="https://theplaidhorse.s3.amazonaws.com/media/uploads/2018/05/horsegirl4.jpg"> ANY indication of horse girl is a hard pass. Princess upbringing? Freudian issue? The same category of faux animal lover who only appreciates animals for utility? Take your pick of the feedbag. [quote]lawschool, lawyer, legal whatever[/quote] Sorry, Mischief. I'm convinced that lawyers are only compatible with other lawyers. <img src="https://runnersconnect.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Best-shot-at-Chicago-2-681x1024.jpg"> Marathon running: compulsion to the point of manic addiction. Hanging out with a training marathon runner is like hanging out with someone trying to quit smoking. Irritable and snapping towards anything that <b>isn't</b> that next hit of 5 mile punishment. Plus it makes them harder to catch if they escape my basement. [quote]mudders[/quote] See above, only now with extra Burning Man flavor! [quote]tacos[/quote] Everyone has mentioned this, but is there any greater shorthand for announcing your cultural blandness to the world, where even other dilettantes call you lazy? You might as well list your favorite food as "sandwich". Join me, fellow jaded swipers. What are innocuous profile signs that experience now warns YOU to stay away from?[/quote]