Forum Overview :: Gamerasutra :: Re: I disagree.

[quote name="Nixon"]I'm on it, and I will even give you points to emphasize what a lying cocksucker I am: Enter the Matrix: The Manual : The review If value and weight were commensurate, you would have a winner because the little shelf space friendly box of shit that is Matrix:Enter the Matrix:The game is packing four CD-ROMS and 48 page manual. Wow, impressive like that portends Moo3 levels of fun. And indeed it does! Of course Warner Brothers owns the whole shebang and they’ve had Atari since 1980whatever. Still, Atari is the now the enemy. This is all the reason I need to fucking detest the French. Never mind the politics and the national post Dougal spirit of laissez faire that makes the rest of the world despise them, for me it was fucking up of my beloved Atari memories (as well as that fag sellout band). The company name that once stood for warm memories and American nostalgia IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU EVERY CHANCE THEY GET BECAUSE THEY FUCKING HATE YOU NOW. If Bush & co. want to smack around the French all I ask for is liberation of the Atari Logo. From the EtM manual: Processor: Intel PIII 800MHZ / AMD Duron 800MHZ (PIII 1.2 GHz / Athlon 1.2GHz recommended) <font color="#FFFF99"><i>This is a sin that is not unique to this game. The way I see it you don’t “recommend” shit. It's your product, by definition all your printed words are recommendations. You tell me the hardware the game performs to your satisfaction on, the way you intended it to be presented. I (the public) then tell my buddies what I recommend they should use and visa versa. You tell us we need a PIII 1.2GHz class, if someone tries to install it on a PIII 800 and it runs okay, good for them. You know and I know that it will scrub, and this game needs all the fucking edge it can get.</i></font> Memory: 128MB RAM (256 MB RAM Recommended) <font color="#FFFF99"><i>Good luck walmart crowd. Lying to children about why the game doesn’t work well is all class.</i></font> Hard Disk Space: 4.3 GB Free (7200 RPM or faster recommended) <font color="#FFFF99"><i>Why you sick fucking pieces of shit. You are telling us that we don’t need to have much dirt cheap RAM but we ought to have 7200-10,000 RPM hard drives because you had a tricky time pre-loading the official Wachowski “making of the funding of the production of the movie while the game was also taken in consideration but not played because it is a piece of shit after all” special feature into RAM? Also: would it have fucking killed you to have included a DVD version of the game with a coupon that said, “DVD-ROMS cost $60.00 here is another dollar off our favorite unit, go get one.” They could have jumpstarted PC games on DVD but based on sales it was a marketing ploy they did not need to use.</i></font> CD-ROM Drive: 4X <font color="#FFFF99"><i>Thanks for taking advantage of state of the art optical drive technology circa 1994.</i></font> Video: Nvidia Geforce 256/ ATI Radeon 8500 <font color="#FFFF99"><i>Whoever is out there playing this game on a PIII 800 with 128MB RAM and a Geforce 256 please let me know how much fun you are having. For the record I played it on a P4 2.8GHz, 1.5GB RAM, Radeon 9700pro system and I did not have much fun at all. Maybe if I get a couple of 10,000RPM SCSI or SAT drives and stripe them, perhaps then the fun will come.</i></font> Sound: Windows Compatible sound card*. (Sound Blaster Audigy 2 recommended) *Indicates that device should be compatible with DirectX 9.0 (included) or higher. <font color="#FFFF99"><i>Does anyone know what besides the Audigy cards are DX9 compatible? Me neither. I have the Audigy 2 part and my ass is not kicked. Much has been made about the hyper holographic EAX sound (Which according to the 1.52 patch, did not work until the 1.52 patch) of this game, mayhaps that kicks in later, at a point past my soul will not let me continue playing.</i></font> Direct X Version 9.0 (included) <font color="#FFFF99"><i>But… you said all I needed was a geforce 256… Oh I get it… Audio.</i></font> The Enter the Matrix CD-ROM game requires the Windows Media Player 9 Series, Available at http://www.satanlovesyouandwantsyoutosignhisEULA.com <font color="#FFFF99"><i>Motherfuckers.</i></font> Breakdown of your 48 page manual: Fifteen pages of game instructions including installation. Nine pages of credits and shouts to homeys, yo. Three pages of corporate contact and tech support advice. Ten pages of notebook paper, yes TEN pages of blanked lined paper that actually say “notes”. Seven pages of advertisements and product tie-ins. One toss off page and the publisher’s page. Then there is this: [quote name="EtM manual"]SPARKS Sparks is the third Crewman of the Logos, serving as Niobe and Ghost’s operator during their missions into the Matrix. Sparks is a wild, brilliant hyperkinetic voice on the other end of the cell phone. You’ll be in constant touch with sparks as he relays key information and strategic advice.[/quote] Sparks is a whiny naysaying cunt. Sparks is the guy that constantly says helpful things like, “This is suicide man! Don’t go in there!” well we bought the game asshound of course we are going in there, how about some navigation or tactical advice? His constant advice is shit like, “oh god! Stop the elevator they are waiting for you!” only you can’t stop the elevator because it is a “cineractive” and so the entire fucking time he was leading you towards the trap. Sparks is one of the causes of my game preventing headaches. But enough fun for me (thank god), I'll let you enjoy the splendor. The Karma engine is waiting for you to ENTAR![/quote]