Forum Overview :: NetHack :: NetHack is gayness

[quote name="foolio"]Sorry, I know someone here loves/enjoys playing this game, but it sucks. This is like that movie that your friend said was "the best movie he's ever seen," but you've seen the previews, and you know that it <B>can't be</B> as good as he claims. But you go anyway. Does the movie suck (highlight for spoilers)? <font size=48 color=black>OF COURSE IT DOES.</font> I've died something like fifteen times. I know this, because after a few deaths I started sequentially naming my characters "loser1-10". They all died. At first I carefully picked the character's name, class, gender, race, and alignment. A few character deaths into the game and I realize that it doesn't matter which class you pick--healer or barbarian, they're both going to die when they meet a Something Lord creature. Tourist (and oh isn't that a marvelous idea, a Tourist class, ha ha ha, what would the D&D dungeon master say to THAT! formulate your own punchline, etc.) or Archaeologist (like Indiana Jones, he carries a whip--I think that's supposed to be funny too)--all classes suck. You're not going to be able to outrun anything, so just sit down and take the punishment. Let me say this again: I just died fifteen times, 'reloading the enjoyment from the ground floor' fourteen times more than I wanted to. I'm not sure why this game is so popular, as it is more frustrating than an adventure game (!!!!), but I have some theories. All of my theories involve Linux, by the way. So back to the beginning. My interest in NetHack was piqued by this <A HREF="http://www.the-underdogs.org/game.php?id=1626">*TOP DOG*</A> rating given at the Underdogs, and a slobbering review comparing this game favorably (can you believe this?) to Diablo. Now listen, I know what you're thinking--and the review on the Underdogs has already said it for you. <FONT Color=yellow>THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE GRAPHICS.</FONT> I don't care. I really don't. What I do care about is the fact that I've died fifteen times before I even managed to figure out how to use the gold I've collected! As far as I know, the purpose of gold is to fill up inventory, because I've never seen a shop. Diablo has shops, that you can go to anytime! How is this an RPG if I die fifteen times before I even see a shop? Most of my anger isn't that this game sucks--which it does--but that every part of the manuals and such deal with situations that I don't manage to get to. BECAUSE I DIE BEFORE I GET THERE. Thus far, the only 'special' place I ever managed to go was to a Lesser Oracle, and that was only because I fell through 3 trapdoors in a row. Most gameplay manual advice is something along these lines: "When in a shop, and the items don't fit the theme of a shop, that's probably a Mimic hiding." Oh yeah, shops--right. I've heard of those mentioned. "You can hop on the backs of some of the monsters and ride them around the dungeon." Sorry, most of the monsters are too busy attacking me. Plus, what does this help? I was a knight once, and he had a horse, but he couldn't manage to get on the saddle. Whatever. "When you're about to die, drink all potions and read all scrolls. It can't hurt." Uh, usually I go from 15/20HP to 0/20HP in one turn, so this really doesn't ever apply. Thanks anyway. While I'm here: all scrolls come unidentified, so you basically never know what they do. Also every item is potentially cursed. You can identify cursed items, but identify scrolls themselves aren't identified, so you really don't know what you have...in short this game sucks, again. Typical of NetHack nerdery is <A HREF="http://hea-www.harvard.edu/~fine/Fun/polearms.html">this</A>, a history of Polearms and their representation in the game itself. How does this help me not die within five minutes of starting each game? <hr></hr> Enough. After one hour (maybe longer?), I'm fully prepared to review this. It's too hard. Call me retarded, tell me to read the manual or the "absolute beginner's guide" (check and check), tell me I'm a little girl. But so far, this game compares unfavorably to Diablo in almost every way. The only reason you would contemplate playing this game is because the non-graphical version looks like you're doing work, at work. But if you're going to slack off at work, why not just play a text-based MUD/MOO/MUSH/whatever anyways? So don't play this game, for any reason. It's all a big lie. Speaking of massively-overblown nostalgia, there is new content on Gamespot for System Shock 2 (story at <A HREF="http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/33939">ShackNews</A>). [/quote]