Forum Overview :: NetHack :: Re: NetHack is gayness

[quote name="curst"]Nethack is the game that has convinced me that I never want to pay money for a video game based on pure random numbers. I play a caveman. What happens if I don't manage to find any edible food? I die. How can I ensure that I get some edible food? WHOOPS I GUESS I CAN'T. Do I want to just eat every monster carcass I leave behind? That's my only option if I don't find "real" food, but chances are the corpse will be tainted and I'll suffer an irreversible death. Or I'll get poisoned and suffer HP damage and a loss of strength and NOT have my hunger satiated so that I'm still passing out, just in time for a monster to stroll up and slaughter me. Why not just say "GAME OVER" as soon as the game starts? I play a knight. I do a good job of surviving. I manage to enchant my armor to +5, so I'm a veritable tank. I find a scroll. What does it do? How the fuck am I supposed to know without reading it? So I read it. BAM, my fantastic armor just disintegrated. Naturally at that very moment a horde of orcs or maybe an umber hulk or a dragon strolls into the room. I'm one million different kinds of dead. But at least I got a higher score than my caveman! I play a valkyrie. I'm doing okay for the first few levels. I'm wandering around as per normal. "YOU ARE BLINDED BY A FLASH OF YELLOW LIGHT!" Thanks, and how am I supposed to avoid that again? I can't? I thought this was supposed to be an RPG or something? A few turns later. "BEING COMPLETELY BLIND, YOU HAVE JUST STUMBLED INTO A PIT, AND WHOA WHERE DID THIS JAGUAR COME FROM, YOU ARE NOW BEING ATTACKED THREE TIMES PER TURN." I get my ass kicked so harshly that even if you gave me an emergency ass transplant, I'd still suffer from a net deficit of one ass. I play a tourist, and THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN I'M ONCE AGAIN DEAD AFTER ABOUT SIX LEVELS OF EXPLORATION THANKS TO SOME TOTAL FUCKSHITTERY GODDAMN THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING GAME EVER. It's a game of seemingly infinite "cool little touches", but you'll be lucky to see even one of them before dying. Pardon me while I return to Diablo 2 where, in lieu of the ability (worthless, I might add) to christen my sword "Orcrist" and get some obscure benefit, I can wander around slaughtering monsters with impunity while reaping the rewards of a great random-item system, a fun character-development system, great production values, and a plot that - while still being paper-thin - puts Nethack to shame. Nethack would suck even if it didn't implement a staggeringly retarded save system. Which, true to its tradition of sucking, it does.[/quote]