Caltrops - Gamerasutra





	[quote name="Funkula"]This is actually one of the most aggressively terrible games I've played in a good while. I actually know someone who played all the way through it, but I'm pretty sure that's because it featured a vaguely Japanese woman in a jumpsuit kicking ass in a way he thinks (protip: incorrectly) is stylish. Every RPG (including tabletop) he insists on playing vaguely Japanese, antisocial ninja ladies so we don't generally let him play anymore. You are: a woman! Your mission: shoot robots! But these aren't just any robots. These are robots carefully designed to be as visually bland as possible. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but are all equally uninteresting. Combat consists of planting your ass firmly on the ground and playing autoturret. You shoot until the robot explodes, unless! one of them shoots at you. At that point, you see the slow-ass beam coming toward you and tap the dodge key at the right moment. The best part though is the training levels. In between actual missions, you have to run about five training missions to make enough money to buy new suits (or maybe he just did this because of his aforementioned inability to recognize fun). These are pretty much identical to the normal missions, except it's always the same level and it keeps a visible tally of how many rooms remain uncleared, removing all sense of exploration which is about all the game had left to offer. Overall, it kind of reminded me of Gunvalkyrie without the interesting movement system or any of the fun (not that Gunvalkyrie was that great to begin with). I seriously had a hard time believing Capcom could make an action game this shitty. Of course, Devil May Cry 2 was another wonderful example of this fact. The style factor? Unlike Dante, this bitch has to keep still to fire her gun. About the most stylish thing she does while firing is sway her hips a little. Sometimes you get the opportunity to do a special attack, but these seemed pretty weak and unimpressive as well. Overall, I think you could do worse, but not much. Cubivore and Viewtiful Joe are both excellent suggestions. I suggest you buy one of those and never think about this game again.[/quote]