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| I watch Flash Gordon for the first time and an unhelpful girl made fun of me. by Noi Dau Don 01/08/2010, 12:42pm PST | ||||
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| I saw Flash Gordon for the first time last night. Rem "helped."
(9:37:23 PM) NDD: r-rem (9:37:28 PM) NDD: flash gordon is a movie (9:37:38 PM) NDD: starring six layers of sexual innuendo (9:37:55 PM) Rem: yes it is! we have it on VHS. it has scooters and hawk people and Flash wrestles a hawkman and it's like "shit why aren't they fucking." (9:38:21 PM) Rem: hawk guy has a beard! and then they fight another bearded guy, i think over some chick or taking over the earth or some shit. (9:38:26 PM) Rem: been a while since i saw it. 8D; (9:38:48 PM) NDD: it's (9:39:34 PM) Rem: now i want to watch it again (9:39:36 PM) Rem: look what you did (9:39:56 PM) NDD: it's a movie rem (9:40:02 PM) NDD: it's making me feel pubic and confused (9:40:25 PM) Rem: we all feel like that the first time. *pat* come over to my house and we can watch it. (9:40:27 PM) Rem: together. (9:40:50 PM) NDD: n-no... (9:40:52 PM) NDD: i mean yes (9:41:03 PM) Rem: you can sit in the special chair (9:41:05 PM) Rem: by which i mean my lap (9:42:36 PM) NDD: n-no (9:42:43 PM) NDD: ...i mean yes (9:44:00 PM) Rem: :) *unzip* (9:44:36 PM) NDD: *l-licks* (9:45:44 PM) Rem: see, isn't this fun? *puts on Flash Gordon theme music* (9:45:59 PM) NDD: rem this movie (9:46:07 PM) NDD: its like a full assault on all senses and reason itself (9:46:35 PM) Rem: i feel superior because i was exposed to Flash Gordon as a child. (9:46:40 PM) Rem: my innocence died that day. (9:46:44 PM) Rem: but i emerged a man. (9:51:40 PM) NDD: rem this movie is like being inside a vagina that has gay men fucking inside it and they are just skins full with innumerable rubies (9:52:01 PM) Rem: ...........................that description is amazing. (9:52:13 PM) Rem: now i have to tell my mom that. she loves that movie. (9:52:37 PM) Rem: well, so do i. but i guess that just means were are hovering on the edge of madness. (9:53:04 PM) NDD: this movie is sexy harrassment (9:53:18 PM) NDD: rem frash goldon is wearing trash bag panties (9:53:34 PM) Rem: you should rub it on yourself that is the kind of panties that real men wear. (9:53:59 PM) Rem: also you said "frash" (9:54:01 PM) Rem: are you asian. (9:57:33 PM) NDD: rem help i'm learning too much (9:57:53 PM) Rem: no you deserve this. and i like to watch. (9:59:24 PM) NDD: rem (9:59:58 PM) NDD: help (10:00:03 PM) Rem: beg me. (10:00:36 PM) NDD: p-please i'll do anything you say (10:00:45 PM) Rem: be less sexy (10:01:12 PM) NDD: i'll do anything you say *burp* (10:02:06 PM) Rem: now put on this Baltimore Orioles jersey, hold this football, and tell me you like chips and beer. (10:04:54 PM) NDD: uhhh (10:05:11 PM) NDD: *puts on baltimore orionels jersey, holds football* i like chips (10:05:13 PM) NDD: and beer (10:05:33 PM) Rem: *takes picture* ...okay, i will tell you the secret of surviving this movie. (10:06:32 PM) Rem: there (10:06:34 PM) Rem: isn't one (10:06:37 PM) Rem: you are doomed (10:06:52 PM) NDD: rem (10:06:54 PM) NDD: you used me (10:07:13 PM) Rem: yes, and it felt good. (10:07:40 PM) NDD: i liked it (10:07:50 PM) Rem: i thought you might :) (10:19:52 PM) NDD: rem this movie keeps getting sexihorribler (10:20:24 PM) Rem: it's a downhill slope that never stops. there is no bottom. just more slope. you should try watching it while drunk. (10:23:46 PM) NDD: rem timothy dalton is in this (10:24:09 PM) Rem: yes (10:24:11 PM) Rem: yes he is (10:24:13 PM) Rem: :) (10:24:34 PM) NDD: rem this is tearing a hymen on my brain (10:25:11 PM) Rem: you had to pop that cherry eventually. and there is no better phallic substitute than Flash Gordon. (10:28:31 PM) NDD: i'm actually crying with my third eye (10:30:51 PM) Rem: they are delicious tears (10:31:12 PM) NDD: timothy dalton is whipping frash goldon (10:31:21 PM) NDD: literally (10:31:23 PM) NDD: whipping (10:31:33 PM) Rem: ooooh, i like that part. (10:31:37 PM) NDD: this movie was filmed inside of freddie mercury's synapses (10:31:56 PM) Rem: you're really driving me crazy i want to watch but i can't because it's a tape and the vcr is in the living room and it's the middle of the night (10:32:16 PM) NDD: FIRST BLOOOOOD (10:32:42 PM) Rem: i really was going to go to bed early seeing as i exhausted myself at work, like a fool. (10:33:01 PM) NDD: rem go to bed (10:34:13 PM) NDD: REM THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS (10:34:16 PM) NDD: SWEATY MAN HANDS (10:34:26 PM) Rem: WELL DUH. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HOLD. (10:34:26 PM) NDD: "WHERE YOU GO (10:34:30 PM) NDD: I FOLLOW" (10:34:45 PM) Rem: not too subtle about it, are they? (10:38:14 PM) NDD: rem this movie is like if it was impossibe to rape someone without writing them a thesis about why they are unhappy (10:38:51 PM) Rem: that... (10:38:52 PM) Rem: wow. (10:39:20 PM) Rem: you come up with the best metaphors when you are suffering (10:40:17 PM) NDD: I'd really rather see you on my side, rather than scattered into *dainty kick* atoms (10:40:54 PM) Rem: ahhhh, fond memories. that movie has the best moments. (10:41:20 PM) Rem: now i'm going to watch it tomorrow. instead of doing anything productive, i am going to watch Flash Gordon. (10:41:26 PM) Rem: yooooour fault. (10:42:09 PM) NDD: flying blind on a rocketcycle (10:42:43 PM) Rem: who else are you gonna fly it? (10:42:48 PM) Rem: ...*how, i should say (10:45:09 PM) NDD: two beautiful women clad in finest shimmering gowns just had a pillow fight full of gold lame (10:45:49 PM) Rem: and this surprises you? given what has come so far? (10:46:10 PM) NDD: this fuckin movie (10:46:15 PM) NDD: it is like a fetish catalog (10:46:31 PM) Rem: did you already see the spike helmet part (10:46:59 PM) NDD: I can't even remember anymore, I am watching this after 3 episodes of Steven Seagal: Lawman and 2 episodes of Ultimate Girl (10:47:10 PM) NDD: I have basically been exploited to the point of brainwashing (10:47:17 PM) NDD: I only wish to serve master and forget (10:48:29 PM) Rem: *consolingly pettings* :( you are but a shadow of yourself. i wonder if i will return tomorrow only to find a hollow husk. (10:48:43 PM) NDD: f-fill me (10:49:02 PM) Rem: i will bring generous helpings of pizza and dick. (10:54:49 PM) Rem: i am thoroughly amused by this. |D nothing like bad early scifi to make you feel alive. i will have to look through our collection to see if i can recommend something similar to you. (10:55:17 PM) Rem: perhaps Beastmaster, it has a tiger in it. (10:55:34 PM) NDD: rem (10:55:38 PM) NDD: why do you want to break me (10:55:49 PM) Rem: what is more enjoyable than a half naked man and his tiger? (10:56:28 PM) NDD: sanity (10:56:51 PM) NDD: boners (10:56:52 PM) Rem: come now, i have seen all these movies and i am perfectly sane! (10:56:55 PM) Rem: perfectly sane. (10:57:10 PM) Rem: perfectly sane. (10:57:28 PM) NDD: go to bed (10:57:32 PM) NDD: before you see me crying (10:57:49 PM) Rem: but your tears are so beautiful (11:04:28 PM) NDD: rem (11:04:36 PM) NDD: birds just spelled out "thanks" in the sky (11:04:40 PM) NDD: then "flash" (11:04:56 PM) Rem: well, how else where they supposed to thank him? (11:05:02 PM) Rem: besides with dick. (11:12:36 PM) NDD: did I say all that shit oout loud jesus (11:12:51 PM) NDD: my brain is all raw and used and sloppy (11:12:59 PM) NDD: flash gordon is rated fucking PG somehow |
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I watch Flash Gordon for the first time and an unhelpful girl made fun of me. by 01/08/2010, 12:42pm PST  hm by 01/08/2010, 12:53pm PST |
