I know in the past we’ve had our fair share of arguments, disagreements and maybe even a few bloody battles. I’ve probably called you all misogynists a few too many times and I know I often say things are easier for you than they are for the ladies. Sorry. I know it isn’t your fault that men tend to make more than women. And you, personally, are not responsible for the obsession with size 0 gals nor is it your fault that we’ve never had a chick president. I’ll admit: I hate on you guys a lot for no reason at all.

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Another thing I’ve come to appreciate is the patience men have in the sack. I mean, seriously, why is the clit so hard to find!? I have one; I know where it is. Why does it constantly elude me on another person’s body? Sometimes I feel like the thing is playing games with me. And why does what a woman wants change constantly? One minute it feels good, the next it hurts. Then it feels good again. No, go back to that spot that I always hate when you touch. Yeah. No. Yes! Yes! No! Often, my girlfriend is shaking with ecstasy one minute and barking instructions at me like a drill sergeant the next. Making a girl orgasm is like putting together furniture from Ikea. No matter how carefully you follow the instructions something always goes wrong. Hats off to you dudes who have been doing it – and doing it well – for years.