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| If the only thing you don't like about this is load times, i will find and kill by you 02/23/2005, 2:03am PST | ||||
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The Joosh wrote: As much as i would like to hear about how an internet stranger doesn't like load times in a two year old shitty game, I'd rather go off on a tangent about other, better reasons that this game is terrible. This game was Molynoo and godgames blabla so a certain amount of boredom was to be expected, but Jesus Christ. micromanaging your little cave retards takes up all your time, leaving your idiot monster time to wander off to find and die (in the queerest possible way) of starvation. If it was just warII plus giant monsters I could handle it, but it gives you the most boring, repetitive parts of an rts, and none of the zugzug rampaging orc amusement that goes with it. I hope you like planting, watering and cutting down trees, because every tiny house your faggot villagers demand costs an insane amount of lumber, with forests helpfully located miles away from your town. To get the creature to eat you have to sit there and pet him until he relents and just fucking swallows the fish. Every game I just let my monster die and be reincarnated over and over until i was built up enough to bother with him. SORRY BOWSER, GODS TOO BUSY RE-SHINGLING SOME ASSHOLES ROOF TO HANDFEED YOU RIGHT NOW. I hate this game. I bought the original because it was cheaper, but I'd imagine the whole point of the expansion was to add better monsters, because the three original guys sucked badly. You get a non-choice of "wacky" cow monster, gay chimpanzee, or the tiger. The first AI creature i saw was a multicolred Turtle monster. JESUS. After putting up with few agonizing hours you're finally being able to go destroy the AI villages. The buildings and huts and whatever break real good, and you get nice sense of accomplishment when you roll a flaming boulder through town square. But that sort of makes it sound like i don't want to rape and kill everyone involved with this game, which i very much do. My favorite level was the one that starts throwing hundreds of fireballs at your village, letting up for a minute to let you rebuild, and then more fireballs. This continues until your dwindling villagers are somehow able to build enough to satisfy this first (of many!) insane challenge. Its also one and only time the monster is of any use, as he quickly learns the put out fucking fire spell after 30980th time youve had to use it. The monster on monster "fights" are sluggish clickfests, the monsters themselves are barely taller than a 2 story building, and every magic spell other than lightning is fruity fucking construction magic. Because as an evil god avatar, ive always wanted to shoot fucking lumber from my fingertips. Oh, and it has the same brand of British humour last seen in another game i didn't finish, Giants. Because ugly, jagged, 3D slapstick is the best kind of slapstick! If it werent for their Mr. T comics I'd have no use for their dandy little island. Cuba may be useless and filled with potential wetbacks, but at least they don't make shitty games. argh, im getting a headache just THINKING about playing this piece of shit. I started just wanting to make fun of your gay post, but somewhere along the line it turned into a personal vendetta against Britain. Tell me that you've uninstalled the game and stabbed whoever recommended it to you in the face and i'll consider this charitable time well spent. bombMexico |
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