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| I'm sorry. by Quétinbec 07/12/2010, 8:10am PDT | ||||
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| Someone I love very much has found this website and been very hurt by what I've written here. I'm very, very sorry.
I'd like to explain to them and to you what this site means to me so, hopefully, what I've written here can be put in context. I move from country to country. I meet amazing people but they eventually leave me or I leave them, which is the nature of working overseas. It's lonely and I miss my family. I get around this by opening up to strangers and perhaps sharing too much. The people at Caltrops aren't the greatest people in the world, but a lot of them are very nice and that's really important. I've known many of the them for 10 years. There aren't many of us left anymore, and we don't say as much or make as much of an effort, but we're still here and that's important. I have a lot of crazy shit going on in my life. Sitting down and writing it all out here helps me make sense of it. Some of the posters' comments help me make sense of it, too. I argue with them, but I listen to them and what they say has an affect on me. I thought I was safe here, on the messageboard of a dying website, and I opened up about a lot of things I shouldn't have. I thought you'd be safe too. I'm sorry I talked about you, but you were such a huge part of my life that I couldn't keep you secret. I talk about dirty stuff here. Stuff like panty wanks and table pubes, for instance. If I bring it up with friends, everyone cracks up and it becomes hilarious, but here I can talk about it seriously. I know that sounds gay, but it's important. I'm sure it gives a very warped impression of me, though. Hopefully, you know me better. When I told you I'd ask the admin here to delete all my stuff and I wouldn't post here again, I started to cry, which probably wouldn't surprise these fuckers or you, but it surprised me. I'm really sorry that I said nasty things about you here. I have no excuse. I miss you. Love, Luke |
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