ndd wrote:

OK let's. So if you are born with every possible genetic advantage, if you are functionally smarter, stronger, faster, and more adaptive than 99% of anyone ever, you still - get to hand over many years worth of paychecks to a man who tells you that you are a useless weirdo, you still get to hope and wish and pray that you guess what it is he wants that night, because he will not tell you and the consequences for guessing wrong are unpleasant, you get to do the dishes and the laundry and the housecleaning because he finds it demeaning to do such things, you cook dinner for him and his friends, male and female, to their tastes and not to your own, because aren't you a special little snowflake who's just being difficult otherwise, you buy the cheapest possible things for yourself and keep as quiet in possible in public to avoid offending his sensibilities, and you never, ever, ever get caught talking about politics, religion, or economics in his earshot, because he heard a thing the other day on Michael Savage that renders your silly girl opinion irrelevant at best and the operation of a childish semi-terrorist mind otherwise. You tell your mutual bosses that he deserves the promotion and not you even though you're doing most of his job on top of your own because he's "having a tough time" recently.

For me there were no presents, no surprise kisses, no special attentions whatsoever. When I was fired from jobs, he was uncomfortable with my unhappy face, so I let him go out with friends instead. When I had grandparents die or when my mother needed help moving her house or my father was sick, I took care of it all without troubling him. I stopped looking at our joint bank account so I wouldn't know what he's spending on himself and his friends. I looked the other way when he came home later and later every night because he said she was just a friend and I'm overreacting, and because I had been socialized my entire life to believe I am an insane bitch, I took it for granted that I was, in fact, an insane bitch overreacting.

After all, should I not have been grateful to have a man at all.