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| G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra by fabio 11/05/2011, 6:29pm PDT | ||||
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| Finally caught this on Netflix instant out of morbid curiosity. A Michael Bay movie without Michael Bay where the biggest star power is Dennis Quaid (love the guy) and "green chick from Star Trek".
It was actually fascinating as a milestone showing where movies in this country are right now. In most movies, when someone says, "In English," it's usually in response to some nonsense techno babble or advanced technical terms that only experts in the field would know (and usually followed by a sarcastic "Doc"). In G.I. Joe, it's in response to this: MAD SCIENTIST
When they returned to sentience, brain scans showed complete inactivity in the self-preservation region of the cortex. VILLAIN English, Doctor. MAD SCIENTIST They feel no fear. A test subject allows himself to be bit by a cobra and shows no reaction. MAD SCIENTIST
Nerve clusters revealed complete inactivity. VILLAIN (impatient) Doctor... MAD SCIENTIST They feel no pain. In case you're worried that our case study peaks there, the makers have your back during the Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes fight. They clash swords, one says, "Brother," and we get a five second flashback of two kids in martial arts garb sparring in a dojo, just to make extra sure that the audience understands that these characters have a past (unlike most siblings). Much like Rick Berman giving the green light for a bald cadet Picard in Nemesis, the kid ninjas had to be dressed as ninjas because otherwise they could have been the younger versions of anyone. (the chick playing the Baroness was the worst casting since Sean Austin fidgeted his way through Harrison Bergeron) |
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra by 11/05/2011, 6:29pm PDT  I thought Scarlet was worse by 11/05/2011, 8:31pm PDT It's a movie for children. NT by 11/06/2011, 10:47pm PST Marketing to children using 80s nostalgia NT by 11/06/2011, 11:14pm PST "You want to sell a cheesy '60s war toy to hip '80s kids? GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" NT by 11/07/2011, 1:38am PST And the international market NT by 11/07/2011, 11:31am PST Finally! Someone gets it! NT by 11/07/2011, 12:04pm PST G.I. Joe (1989) by 12/30/2011, 10:26pm PST |
