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by Jerry Whorebach 05/20/2014, 5:59pm PDT |
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Skillfully weaving through traffic at ludicrous speed = fun.
Hamfistedly ploughing slower cars from behind while the game ejaculates dollar values and complimentary adjectives all over my screen = fun for about one minute.
The problem with traffic checking is they didn't commit to the mechanic. If it were the only way to earn boost, encouraging you to leapfrog between hapless commuters chaining fiery wrecks like ghosts in Pac-Man, that could be ~~wonderful~~. But everything you do in this game gives you boost, there is literally nowhere on any lane you can't drive besides directly into the front grill of an oncoming semi that isn't constantly charging your meter. There is no strategy, no decision making involved; gameplay is entirely reactive, like a fucking Tiger LCD racecar game.
It doesn't help that they lump every type of event into a single world tour. I gold all the race and crash events on my first try, then spend thirty minutes trying to shave a tenth of a second off my time in those incessant hot laps (does anybody like time trials outside of rally games? anybody? you do? go jump off a bridge) only to finally beat the posted time but, ha ha, my stupid performance rating when I did it was "GREAT" instead of "AWESOME" for god knows what reason, so it's only worth four stars instead of a perfect five. Why don't I just try it again? Without the benefit of a ghost car showing my last lap, because unlike Super Mario Kart on the SNES this game doesn't have those.
Revenge isn't quite as bad as Forza 3 but it's damn close, which is frankly amazing for a driving game that actually lets you steer your own car.
Also the tracks are all dirty and ugly and someone smeared a bloomy, desaturated filter all over the screen. Hate. Hate hate hate. Wah. |
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Jerry, what's your favorite racing game NT by Grebble 03/05/2014, 10:26pm PST 
Blink? Forza? Outrun?? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/05/2014, 10:51pm PST
Mine is Outrun 2006 Coast 2 Coast. NT by Mischief Maker 03/05/2014, 10:56pm PST
Is it OK if I go for Mario Kart? Does that count? NT by John Gulp 03/05/2014, 11:22pm PST
This is a tough question for me, because I like almost all of them! by Jerry Whorebach 03/06/2014, 2:11pm PST
Rock and Roll Racing, Road Rash, Burnout: Revenge were good. by WITTGENSTEIN 03/06/2014, 4:32pm PST
F-Zero, F-Zero X, but not F-Zero GX NT by WITTGENSTEIN 03/08/2014, 11:41am PST
You're dumb, Burnout 3 was the pinnacle, Burnout Revenge had traffic checking. NT by Which means just ignore all traffic 03/08/2014, 2:12pm PST
Who would play a game about smashing into traffic without consequences? by FUCKING NOBODY 03/08/2014, 3:33pm PST
Remember that the issue is Burnout 3 versus Burnout Revenge NT by Not versus Gran Turismo you moron 03/08/2014, 6:04pm PST
Remember I played Burnout 3 for 2 minutes because I got bored of driving a POS NT by You dick-slurping cockwarmer 03/08/2014, 6:36pm PST
Look at this cool guy here, he knew the game sucked after 2 minutes. NT by Let's listen to him. 03/17/2014, 3:41pm PDT
Hahaha, Gran Turismo 3 and Burnout 3 were my two favourite PS2 games. by (In that order!) 03/27/2014, 5:08pm PDT
I'm halfway through Burnout Revenge and I'm about ready to give up. by Jerry Whorebach 05/20/2014, 5:59pm PDT
Part of the problem could be that I'm playing the Xbox 360 port. by Jerry Whorebach 05/26/2014, 2:35am PDT
The SNES version of Zombies Ate My Neighbors had the same squashed art problem. by Jerry Whorebach 05/26/2014, 3:47am PDT
I jerked it to the chick in that game back in the day by confession time 05/26/2014, 2:27pm PDT
I didn't give up :( by Jerry Whorebach 06/13/2014, 12:28am PDT
Re: Who would play a game about smashing into traffic without consequences? by Souffle of Pain 05/20/2014, 9:46pm PDT
Fuck, those look fun by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/08/2014, 8:41am PST
Re: Fuck, those look fun by MM 03/08/2014, 12:27pm PST
Where the fuck is Grebble? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/09/2014, 11:44am PDT
I just got Driver San Francisco - it's pretty good. by Gutsby 03/25/2014, 9:58am PDT
I think NFS, Forza, and Gran Turismo are the only racers that still sell :( by Jerry Whorebach 03/27/2014, 4:25pm PDT
I loved that version of Road Rash. by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2014, 9:04pm PDT
Re: I just got Driver San Francisco - it's pretty good. by Lurker 410942 03/28/2014, 3:25am PDT
Thirding Driver: SF by Rafiki 03/28/2014, 10:10am PDT
Binding of Isaac :( NT by #2 03/28/2014, 11:08am PDT
Re: Thirding Driver: SF by Gutsby 03/28/2014, 1:23pm PDT
Have you played Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, Jerry? by Worm 05/20/2014, 6:31pm PDT
Not yet, though I enjoyed the last one! by Jerry Whorebach 05/20/2014, 7:47pm PDT
PC USB STEERING WHEELS by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/08/2014, 11:35am PDT
I'm afraid if I put a steering wheel on my apartment, it'll look TOO MUCH like a by treehouse. 09/10/2014, 9:17pm PDT
or the rope ladder NT by Eurotrash 09/11/2014, 10:41am PDT
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