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Not great! I'm super unhappy about MCU Hawkeye in Lego Marvel Super Heroes. by Jerry Whorebach 11/15/2015, 11:17pm PST
I understand the Avengers movies are kind of a big deal, and the Hawkeye in those dresses like a forty year old guy going to an outdoor rave in October. What Marvel needs to understand, though, is that today's media savvy consumers are perfectly willing to accept one character having two different looks, if it means one of those looks doesn't have to look like fucking Jeremy Renner. If they're going to make me play as Hawkeye to get to the next Hulk level, I would at least like it to be the Hawkeye who dresses in purple and was super judgemental of his wife after she got raped by a cowboy on one of their time adventures. In fact, I think that would've made a cute Lego-style cutscene, old fishnets Mockingbird perched on the lip of a canyon grinding her stiletto heel into the Phantom Rider's hand, then when he falls silently to his death she turns around and there's Lego Hawkeye, arms crossed, shooting daggers with unerring accuracy out of his round black eyes. But of course they went with MCU Hawkeye, so instead of Mockingbird he's partnered up with the SECOND most boring character in those movies, MCU Black Widow. I can not tell you how much MCU Black Widow suffers in this game from not having anything resembling a human ass. Do you know what a black catsuit looks like on a Lego body? It looks like they forgot to colour it in. Here is a picture I drew of Lego MCU Black Widow lying seductively on a pile of old mattresses:

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You can't see her head because it got cut off.
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How's the year treating you, Jerry? NT by Quentin Beck 10/28/2015, 11:43am PDT NEW
    Not great! I'm super unhappy about MCU Hawkeye in Lego Marvel Super Heroes. by Jerry Whorebach 11/15/2015, 11:17pm PST NEW
        I'd like to see a Jerry review of The Fall NT by fabio 11/15/2015, 11:27pm PST NEW
        Jerry's back. I'm kind of glad, though it probably means his life got worse. by Mysterio 11/16/2015, 11:52am PST NEW
            Re: Jerry's back. I'm kind of glad, though it probably means his life got worse. by Jerry Whorebach 11/20/2015, 9:56am PST NEW
                Front page! NT by Entropy Stew 11/20/2015, 7:23pm PST NEW
                I miss you, Jerry. I miss you so much. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 01/26/2016, 1:19pm PST NEW
                    He always posts by fabio 01/26/2016, 9:31pm PST NEW
                        Halo A im Jury Hurbik NT by Runny Replace 01/26/2016, 10:46pm PST NEW
 
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