The Increasingly Nervous News Cycle wrote:


Oh come on a Reality TV star? He isn't serious, folks.

Predictions tell us he has a 3% chance of getting the nomination. He's not a reeeeaal Republican, so nobody is going to vote from him. He's too coarse. He's racist! He's unconstitutional! He-- *Becomes clear standout in primaries, others forced to step down. Romney gives up hope on funding an alternative. Talking heads and analysts demoralized*

It's a joke, people. He doesn't have any money going into the general. Look at all the vested interest in Clinton which is totally a good thing. How can he possibly -- *Citizens donate, which Trump matches* -- uh, well, no big deal. It's just money!

Listen, the party isn't unified. Nobody is behind him here-- *Convention is relatively smooth by the end of the first night. Cruz & co. booed out of existence*. So, that speech was, what the word? Dark. So dark. Very dark! Did I mention DARK?

b-But he's dangerous, way too close to Russia, trying to start war-- *HRC declares Syrian attack as first order of business* and-- *HRC receives millions from Russian donor* u-uh, never mind about Russia! What I was trying to say is his campaign is totally falling apart which our anonymous source tells us (Super legit). Plus his current wife is a total slut, and may have worked here illegally - checkmate, bigots!