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| The dumbest thing (SPOILER) by Fullofkittens 02/02/2019, 11:03am PST | ||||
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| ...was that the film starts off with the coroner's son putting off a date with his girlfriend to help his dad out with this Witch Autopsy, and at first you're like, aw that's too bad but after like an hour without seeing her again you forget she even exists...
...but then, after things have completely gone to shit in the morgue and they're burning the place down because a Witch Corpse is animating dead corpses etc, and they are (importantly) trapped in the building by a big dead tree that collapsed on the exit, they have an encounter with a shambling animated corpse that's all like RARRRRRGH I'VE GOT NO FACE AND I'M SHAAAAMBLING and son dude hits it in the face with an axe. JUST KIDDING THAT SHAMBLING CORPSE WAS AN ILLUSION IT WAS REALLY YOUR GIRLFRIEND, YOU JUST AXED YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN THE FACE. This despite the fact that practically the only thing that *is* established in this horror movie setup is that they're trapped. So either the girlfriend somehow broke that rule and managed to get in (which we did not see) and the Witch Corpse made her look like a shambling zombie to trick Son into killing her to make him sad...or after he axed an actual shambling corpse, Witch Corpse made it look like his girlfriend, to make him sad. (It seems like the movie wants us to think the former.) So the movie is trying,pathetically, to create some pathos in us for the sad death of son dude's girlfriend, but it doesn't work because this is her 2nd scene and also it makes zero sense that she could even be where she was. I was done at that point. I think it was supposed to be a THE SHINING riff like how Halloran gets axed just as he arrives to help. (If so, Kubrick...did it better.) "Trapped in a House With Ancient Evil Controlling Shambling Zombies" felt very ripped off from PRINCE OF DARKNESS, also. Then the movie ends with a THE EXORCIST riff where Brian Cox is all NO COME INTO MEEEEEE, SAVE HIM AND COME INTO MEEEEEE to the Witch Corpse. The 2nd half of the movie is just a pastiche of ripped off scenes, it's terrible. |
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THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE (2016) by 02/02/2019, 6:25am PST  I watched this last year when I was on a Brian Cox kick. by 02/02/2019, 9:12am PST The dumbest thing (SPOILER) by 02/02/2019, 11:03am PST Okay, yeah, that's where I checked out too. (Spoilers for every movie.) by 02/02/2019, 12:37pm PST They were supposed to sing Witchy Woman but it was too expensive so they cut it. NT by 02/02/2019, 1:00pm PST |
