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by Nick Spaz 08/18/2026, 8:08pm PDT |
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Okay, the writing is great anyway. The gameplay part remains a tacked on afterthought and limited time dialog responses still suck. You can often really see the seams where responses don't matter, since right after their one sentence response to your choice they immediately follow it up with a catchall line that could cover both of the choices. Didn't Alpha Protocol solve this like 15 years ago?
Quick time events that don't matter if you fail :(
The action scenes have optional quick time events, but even if you choose to turn them off, it will still go into slow bullet time where you can obviously tell INSERT QTE HERE. Some of them slow down so hard, it's practically a stand still to give you unlimited time to do it. Why couldn't they do this infinite pause for the dialog responses??
Did I mention the writing is very good? This should have just been a movie, and I'd be fine with just watching it as a movie. It's like Erik is working at Valve again, with almost no traces of Whedonesque "Telltale'isms".
Seriously why not make a full movie of this? They gave JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson the most valuable franchise in history to write a bunch of empty random nonsense. They gave Zack Snyder a billion dollars so he could could write scripts for 12 year olds. This could be R rated superhero Zootopia for adults. How about making one less Minions movie and make this instead? At least the budget for Arkane? All the fucking money streaming services are setting on fire for original productions, just make a Dispatch movie.
I'm 75% through it. Maybe the end will suck? Still worth it.
Bare titties with screaming and sucking orgasming chicks going to town on themselves :) |
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