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| Bill hates Computer Gaming World's take on Doom III by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/02/2004, 2:00am PDT | ||||
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| When I was in middle school our gym teacher put us all in a line and said that we were all going to wrestle one by one until the Big Kahuna was revealed. Instantly, three of our more homophobic classmates exploded in a chewy pulp of blood and come. The rest of us had to slap each other around and pin each other and your reward for doing this was to wrestle the next guy until you got pinned yourself. The ultimate winner was the last guy in line who had a pituary problem and a last name that started with "Y" and weighed a hundred and ninety pounds though he was 12.
I mention this to explain why The Half-Life II Mod Article Part Two will remain atop this website for the near future: I would like our best foot firmly forward and crammed up the ass of shitty mod developers for a little while longer on the off chance that there are people who haven't heard that we flushed the toilet of OMM and Purple Caltrops like Dr. Jekyll getting rid of his notes that dealt with the British Empire attempting to genetically create a native-bred negro or whatever was going on there and might read something [ and laugh! -- ed. ] and come visit the forum. So I present you with CGW gives Doom 3 Five Stars in Their Whoriest Fucking Review Ever by Bill Dungsroman. Have you read a computer gaming review that you find particularly offensive? Tell us about it here at CALTROPS. There's a good chance that I'll dig up a screenshot of some blue collar cyberdemon's morning growler, attach it, and post it for you. If you're having trouble finding a reprehensible mag, why not start with "XBN" -- Xbox Nation Magazine? In a year where NFL2Kx went head to head with Madden they managed to give both games an "8" making no real decision so maybe you can get 'em both! And two-plus solid years of everyone skewering Halo for the repetitive piece of shit that it is hasn't got them even remotely down about Halo II. If you can bet on "XBN giving Halo II a '10' and pronouncing it the best Xbox game ever' in your locale do so and put down a fiver for your buddy Jones, won't you? Thank you for your continued interest. the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey! |
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Bill hates Computer Gaming World's take on Doom III by 09/02/2004, 2:00am PDT  Re: Bill hates Computer Gaming World's take on Doom III by 09/02/2004, 2:59am PDT Re: Bill hates Computer Gaming World's take on Doom III by 09/02/2004, 8:59pm PDT christ by 09/02/2004, 9:48pm PDT Re: christ by 09/02/2004, 10:34pm PDT |
