Forum Overview :: Cabaret Voltron
 
Who wants my bike? by Bill Dungsroman 04/18/2003, 7:15pm PDT
I know there's nothing more Binro-esque than complaining about being sick. However. I have this sporadic problem, where if I try to swallow too large a bolus of food without enough fluid, it gets lodged in my lower esophageal sphincter, and sits there like a rock until I forcefully vomit it back up. Then, after I calm down a bit, it relaxes and I can eat again.

Until last Wednesday, that is.

The saints forgive me for eating at a chain restaurant (it was a work thing), but Applebee's chicken fajita wrap decided to hang about in my throat as things sometimes do. So I excused myself from my two coworkers, barfed three times, and then came back out and explained myself through a raspy throat and bloodshot, teary eyes.

And then I never ate anything solid again.

So, it's what - Friday? - and it hasn't gotten any better. I saw the "doctor,' a laughably incompetent furriner type (DYK? Qwik Kare docs only need one - one! - year out of medical school to work at one?), who served his purpose - refer me to a GI doc. So he did, and they took some blood to do, I don't know, something with. Check my cholesterol and whatnot, whatever. I call this doc - Osama Something, the desk clerk had me at Osama - and after they tell me May 2dn, I tell then SHOULD I TRANSFER FROM THE ER WITH MY IV STILL ATTACHED? I AM DYING OF STARVATION. And they bump me up to Monday. So I only have to make it on through the weekend until they snake a laryngoscope down my throat and tell me how fucked up my LES is from all that reflux I had back in medical school.

So I'm playing a new game. WHAT WILL MAKE BDR VOMIT? Fluids, no. Pudding, no. Ice cream!!! No. Mashed potatoes: yes. I tried a protein shake, and it was great, until it shot right through me and came out the other end as diarrhea. I will attempt soup broth in awhile, that should be okay. MEanwhile, I'm weak and my head and stomach hurts and I WANT MY MOMMY and I told my boss I'm still going on a case if we have one. I'll just pack soem Gatorade and MY LIL PUDDING CUPS and I'll be fine. UNLESS I DROP DEAD OF MALNUTRITION.

BDR

NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Who wants my bike? by Bill Dungsroman 04/18/2003, 7:15pm PDT NEW
    Jesus Christ. NT by Chairman Mao 04/18/2003, 7:20pm PDT NEW
    So when will they be harvesting your organs? NT by veronica 04/18/2003, 8:51pm PDT NEW
        I so want that LES NT by FABIO 04/19/2003, 12:23am PDT NEW
    Is your roommate disappointed? by I need clarification 04/18/2003, 9:22pm PDT NEW
    But you can still jerk it, right? NT by ydrt 04/19/2003, 1:08am PDT NEW
        And incur furthur protein loss? NT by Entropy Stew 04/19/2003, 6:07pm PDT NEW
            He could always recycle NT by ydrt 04/19/2003, 6:33pm PDT NEW
    I thought I had TB for like an hour last week. by conflictNo 04/19/2003, 3:24am PDT NEW
    Re: Who wants my bike? by Lufteufel 04/19/2003, 12:56pm PDT NEW
        Listen to me, I actually AM an expert on this one by Senor Barborito 04/19/2003, 6:38pm PDT NEW
            Re: Listen to me, I actually AM an expert on this one by Zebco Fuckface 04/20/2003, 4:56am PDT NEW
 
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