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by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:35pm PDT |
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So anyway, I have this friend. We'll call him Ed, since that's his name. Anyway, ol' Ed broached an interesting subject last St. Patty's Day over pints of Killian's. Ed's a pretty glib fellow, and a few pints really greases his wheels.
His girlfriend wants to fuck him up the ass with a dildo.
Ignoring (if you can) for a moment the screeching halt to all other conversation this little tidbit of information wrought, I had to weigh the circumstances before I could offer a proper opinion. One can't go off half-cocked in this matter, especially if said cock is actually quite full and latex, to boot. And headed for a dear friend of mine's anus.
First, Ed's girlfriend. She's a stripper, I mean exotic dancer, as they prefer to be known as. I've met her, she's a nice enough girl, very friendly, not all that stripper-y, if you catch my drift. Looking to take her savings and put them into investments and education for another, less embarassing (though no doubt less lucrative) job. Anyhoo, for starters, she looooves TEH ANNAL on herself. Y'know, maybe it's a tit-for-tat, same as oral favors. Maybe she wants Eddie to experience the same indescribable (and nigh-unspeakable) pleasures that only a large hard cylinder up the dumper can bring. Not to mention that she more than implies absurdly torrid sex to follow (of the more conventional cock-pussy variety. I hope.) a spirited session of buggery. Hey, I've met this girl, most fellows would kill to find the secret to her or someone like her's On Button if they only knew it. And now Ed does.
Second, Ed. He's not your Ward Cleaver type. More like meat cleaver, no not really. But imagining him dating a str-exotic dancer, any kind you'd think of, isn't too surprising. It's easy to imagine those two crazy kids up to other sexual exploits that fake Penthouse Forum writers couldn't dream up on their best day. So what's a little assplay? Listen, the anus is a well-known erogenous zone, it's nice and sensitive and dialed right into the pleasure centers. Of course, that's only about the first inch right at the opening, although there are claims that other erogenous zones can be stimulated by proxy via a nice hard cock milling about the poop chute, for both sexes. Who knows?
Me, I voted for the buttsex. Is anyone surprised? The only drawback I could imagine is if she wants to do it simply to humiliate Ed. The realtionship might not recover from such a drastic change in dynamic. See, I fear for the relationship. Maybe I should fear for Ed's ass? Well, a caveat to this adventure is that Ed gets final veto on the device in question. A little more 'My Very First Dildo," a little less "Jeff Stryker's ULTRA-LARGE for orifices that need CHALLENGING!" And lube, my son, lots o' lube.
As for gay. Is it? There's no talk of Ed in a tutu and his girlfriend with a mascara-mustache and goatee and trenchcoat. I figure anything, anything between a man and a women, where they aren't pretending to be any other sex, is okely-dokely in my book. I'm of the opinion it's intent that counts, not action. Buttfucking may be usually a homosexual act, but then cocksucking can easily be considered gay, for that matter, by the same standards. It's not like Ed is pondering or risking anal sex with a guy; it's still his girlfriend, after all.
Anyway, I was wondering what everyone else's opinion is on this matter: gay or not? And no, "Ed" isn't me, I don't have a freaky exo-oh hell stripper girlfriend wanting to bang me up the ass. I'm not that lucky. More is the pity.
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I hereby declare this (temporarily) BDR's unfinished abandoned content forum! by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:11pm PDT 
Throne of Bhaal (finished) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:13pm PDT
A Brief History of Comics (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:15pm PDT
Adventure Games Are Dead (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:16pm PDT
Self-critique of an email I wrote but never sent to my ex-fiance by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:19pm PDT
I gotta know, we've come this far. by Fullofkittens 07/21/2003, 7:08pm PDT
Re: I gotta know, we've come this far. by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 7:18pm PDT
Standard bitch boilerplate. You should have gotten the ring back. NT by Fullofkittens 07/21/2003, 7:26pm PDT
Hard to find that many redheads NT by Entropy Stew 07/21/2003, 8:16pm PDT
Re: Self-critique of an email I wrote but never sent to my ex-fiance by E. L. Koba 07/21/2003, 8:13pm PDT
The question mark was emphasized. NT by mrs. johnson 07/21/2003, 8:42pm PDT
That's the name of a horse I used to own. What's wrong with you? NT by E. L. Koba 07/21/2003, 8:57pm PDT
Anybody who knows anything knows that. NT by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 07/24/2003, 11:02pm PDT
Good grief, Charlie Brown. How many times do we have to hear this story? by I need clarification 07/22/2003, 3:33pm PDT
Re: Good grief, Charlie Brown. How many times do we have to hear this story? by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 5:23pm PDT
Azreal's Tear Review (fin) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:20pm PDT
Uh. by Arbit 07/25/2003, 12:51am PDT
Duh. by Bill Dungsroman 08/04/2003, 12:18am PDT
Making fun of Brawl Hall (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:21pm PDT
Playing Computer Games Is Fucking Stupid (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:23pm PDT
Baldur's Gate Fanfic (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:27pm PDT
Fallout Review (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:28pm PDT
Re: Fallout Review (unf) by Lizard_King 08/02/2003, 1:15pm PDT
Re: Fallout Review (unf) by Bill Dungsroman 08/04/2003, 12:26am PDT
Agreed. And, I see. by Lizard_King 08/05/2003, 10:16am PDT
I liked it by Mischief Maker 08/05/2003, 1:12pm PDT
Re: I liked it by Bill Dungsroman 08/05/2003, 4:38pm PDT
Anyone arguing with Desslock can just say, "You gave Might and Magic VI a 9.2" NT by Mischief Maker 08/05/2003, 5:07pm PDT
IWD Expansions Review (fin) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:29pm PDT
Rama Review (fin) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:30pm PDT
Re: Rama Review, first version (fin) by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 2:42pm PDT
am I a fag fro plaing tis gmae NT by Fourm Nwebei 08/04/2003, 11:55pm PDT
Was Liberace gay just for wearing rhinestones? NT by Bill Dungsroman 08/05/2003, 12:46pm PDT
Sanitarium Review (I don't know if it's finished or not) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:31pm PDT
3 things by Mischief Shai-hulud 07/22/2003, 2:24pm PDT
Re: 3 things by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 2:40pm PDT
Sounds like Identity: The game NT by FABIO 07/24/2003, 8:51am PDT
Re: 3 things by junior allen 08/02/2003, 11:05pm PDT
Re: Sanitarium Review (I don't know if it's finished or not) by junior allen 08/02/2003, 11:04pm PDT
Top Ten Worst Medical School Experiences (10-4) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:33pm PDT
Re: Top Ten Worst Medical School Experiences (10-4) by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 07/21/2003, 8:49pm PDT
By the way are you going to finish this one? by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 07/21/2003, 11:53pm PDT
Maybe. Thanks though :) by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 12:58pm PDT
Re: Maybe. Thanks though :) by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 08/04/2003, 12:31am PDT
Re: Maybe. Thanks though :) by Bill Dungsroman 08/04/2003, 2:29pm PDT
Sometimes I give up mid-sentence NT by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 12:57pm PDT
I don't know why I read these anymore by I need clarification 07/22/2003, 2:44pm PDT
Funny, I was thinking the same thing right now NT by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 2:54pm PDT
Old OMM thread topic about buttfucking (fin) by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 4:35pm PDT
GAY NT by Entropy Stew 07/21/2003, 10:20pm PDT
I remember this shit, too by I need clarification 07/22/2003, 3:42pm PDT
Did someone lock the door to this forum after you came in? by Bill Dungsroman 07/22/2003, 5:20pm PDT
Holy shit NT by Entropy Stew 07/21/2003, 4:42pm PDT
A Modicum Of Explanation by Bill Dungsroman 07/21/2003, 5:44pm PDT
I would have liked to see a Sanitarium review by FABIO 07/25/2003, 2:47am PDT
Re: I would have liked to see a Sanitarium review by Bill Dungsroman 07/29/2003, 2:27pm PDT
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