"I don't need food to impress, man," boasts the cocky "American Pie" C-lister. "It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food."

Chris, 26, a self-described "alpha heterosexual" who only dates "8 to 10's," also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he's seeing gains a few pounds.

"I'm not tolerant of that at all," declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.

"When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body," he pontificates. "You have to say no."

Klein then rejects the interviewer's suggestion that "they're just looking for you to say, 'You look beautiful to me, honey.'" "If they do, it's placating," he scoffs. "I don't placate."