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| A small, maybe funny portion by mark 03/21/2007, 1:53pm PDT | ||||
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| FABIO: the caltrops freedom of information act demands the questionable content IM logs be disclosed
mark: woah mark: I'll look in to it mark: there are a lot of them This is a tiny sample, staring already a few months in to our hate. INC: I've been looking for you all week INC: as QuestionableContent has been especially bad INC: on Monday, we talked about girls and their feelings INC: on Tuesday, we discussed girls and acne INC: on Thursday, Marten is accused of flirting with another girl INC: and today, back to robot talk INC: wait, a day is missing INC: oh, he's a day behind in his dating scheme mark: oh man INC: well, anyway, it's awful INC: I might have to kill this guy INC: "guy": mark: I'm afraid to read it at work less someone see it INC: yeah, don't mark: MY STREET CRED INC: haha mark: man I hate that little ipod INC: yeah, every character is more annoying than the last mark: what a transparent sell-out INC: always wearing their hip t-shirts INC: hands behind their heads mark: HEY GUYS, I'VE GOT AN IPOD IN THE STRIP... AIN'T THAT TRENDY??? INC: IT TALKS! mark: yeah, hand on necks, 90% of the frames mark: maybe they have some kind of palsy? mark: I think I just decoded this strip INC: I still stand by my assertion that it's actually written by a woman INC: maybe the guy's girlfriend by proxy? INC: last week he actually introduced a NEW girl, then commented that he was overdoing it mark: ah, the old "einstein's wife did all his work" angle mark: I hope so! mark: for the sake of the male of thje species INC: August 31, 2006 11:20pm Woo number seven hundred. That certainly is a very large round number. It's kind of fun to write a timid character instead of the usual QC cast of smartasses and crazy people! I think Penelope (or...PIZZA GIRL???) would make a fun addition to the coffee shop staff. Because, you know, my comic needs more female characters in it. INC: HM TAKE A HINT BUDDY INC: your comic sucks mark: Maybe it needs one male that isn't completely emasculated INC: definitely INC: is Marten still supposed to be some lovable loser/ INC: ? mark: a non sassy girl is a good addition to the square of possibilities INC: because after a year, he can't really expect anyone to be sympathetic to him INC: haha INC: yeah mark: sassy/loser vs male/female mark: check another box! INC: I like how his attempts at actual males have both washed out INC: one was Marten's roommate who started screwing that young girl, then disappeared INC: the other is the coffee shop owner's brother, who came in with tales of casual one-night stands, but spent his time hiding from girls in the bathroom INC: what's going on with this guy?! mark: at some point you'll have to compile our numerous QC aims into a massive post INC: yeah mark: I think we have hated this guy fairly effectively INC: I originally was writing a web comix roundup mark: oh yeah! INC: but it was a comparison of QC and Dinosaur Comics INC: and then Ryan was emailing me so I held off, because I think I mentioned Caltrops to him INC: hand behind head count: one million INC: plus no punchline (again) mark: oh, and a lecture on where he wil land WILL NOT go for comedy INC: yeah INC: two areas INC: both of which are the same mark: yeah INC: except the first one isn't even a joke INC: just "misunderstandings" mark: NO MISUNDERSTANDING mark: oh shoot, he did that like 2 weeks ago mark: with the bar pickup comic series INC: haha yeah mark: does that mean he ceases to exist? mark: QC: over INC: I hope so! mark: Martin to world: I am a liar INC: plus, now even Steve is neutered INC: MartEn INC: he used to be the one nod to a real hetero male INC: but now even he is being berated nonstop by "sassy" women INC: I'm guessing Marten's home life is no picnic mark: yeah, you might as well your testes put in a mason jar because, really, what's the point mark: i actually imagine it is a pinic mark: "I drew a shitty comic today, honey" mark: "I worked all day." INC: I have a feeling she's a castrating "sassy" bitch who he compliments endlessly because she's so smart INC: young guys tend to mistake sarcasm for brains INC: "OH SHE'S LIKE ALL THE GUYS I HANG OUT WITH!!" mark: haha yeah INC: then two years later you're like, "Holy shit this is annoying." INC: you go visit someone else whose girlfriend or wife is just nice INC: and funny, but not bitchy INC: and you're like, "WTF? I could have that!" mark: "you don't seem to be emotionally unstable or empty in any way!" mark: "what's the catch?" mark: marten, escaping into a world of record recommendations to soothe the pain mark: I finally made it through the comic mark: "I've been rendered sterile!" mark: "OLD NEWS, MARTEN" INC: yeah, first panel, first comic INC: rendered INC: and sterile INC: QC, especially awful today INC: plus a link from PA INC: so all the horrible comics are now in league mark: oh man I just read that QC mark: terrible INC: yeah mark: now he's making TOTALLY IRONIC stylistic nods to anime mark: and the drunk monster again INC: yeah, his favorite new character mark: (it has the most tshirt potential) INC: so happy about the PA link INC: big time, here he comes mark: I'm surprised that PA linked him, as they are totally incompatable types of awful INC: they're both about effeminate guys mark: PA is way meaner while still not being funny INC: true mark: ever comic is a product of pure self hate mediated through forgettable japanese games and jesus jokes mark: every PA comic, that is INC: did you see this thread? INC: http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?t=29638 mark: Awful mark: the aggressively middle brow Qt3 would love that shit INC: yeah, they're the target audience INC: a comic that speaks to them mark: PA must be incredibly easy to write INC: yeah INC: it's like the worst writer on Leno has a few minutes to spare after lunch mark: I mean, not as easy as QC mark: which doesn't even have to provide a joke mark: but the next easiest thing mark: add the odd vagina or profanity to a joke about monkeys, john carmack, final fantasy mark: sell some merch INC: quote some movie or video game dialog mark: yeah mark: Like, I saw a thing a while ago one Something Awful where they made fun of the Homestarrunner guys, in a mean sort of way mark: and I thought that was really ridiculous, because as twee and silly as the Homestarrunner guys get, they actually deliver jokes INC: yeah INC: they're interested in making someone laugh somewhere mark: and they show obvious craftsmanship mark: man, white ninja mark: I actually went to university with them INC: I've never read it mark: that comic is super lame though INC: until now mark: it's usually really predictable and dangerous in a very reassuring, nonthreatening way mark: haha Ryan got them perfectly INC: yeah, the expression at the end is good INC: god, they've got a link to QC at the bottom mark: Is MARTIN FINALLY GOING TO HAVE SEX IN QC?? mark: (no) mark: ( no ) INC: all these horrible web comix really gravitate to each other INC: yeah, they're just happy to... YOU GUESSED IT, TALK! INC: and once again Faye the badass is brought up INC: there also hasn't been one "bad" guy in the strip, I realize INC: like, you'd figure Faye would be such an emotional wreck because some guy dumped her or something INC: but no, dad committed suicide mark: I hope QC is secretely the story of how J.J. met his girlfriend and the strip will end with him getting a vasectomy INC: thereby condemning all future (sensitive, indie) guys before they even have a chance ;-; mark: well yeah mark: [15:11] mark: her dad was an indie hipster mark: that's why he killed himself INC: like, his one feeble attempt at some sort of less than perfect guy was Steve or whatever his name is INC: but even when he's accused of being a cad, it turns out he was dumped ;-; mark: yeah everyone suffers INC: no guy can just be a... guy INC: "Yeah, we slept together a few times, then I got bored. Why do you ask?" INC: no male character in QC would ever dream of saying that INC: "Don't tell Faye!!! She might hit me!" mark: just reduced to crying INC: and then sure enough, almost hit by... a woman INC: on a scooter INC: an entire city of guys walking around in perpetual fear of offending the fierce women mark: sort of like the gynostriker mark: http://wigu.com/overcompensating/2006/03/gynocide.html INC: haha INC: I like the last panel mark: whoever posted as zseni actually delivered a joke this time! mark: "I carry 2 rape whisles (1 for the rapist)" INC: haha INC: haha she thought it was me mark: yeah, man, your rape stock has really hit a low when you rape zseni INC: yeah, you might as well rape an anthill mark: I don't understand today's QC INC: it all leads up to an awesome t-shirt idea, apparently mark: since no one has or will have sex, what's awkward about the situation? INC: Faye's been replaced as the girl who sleeps next to Marten mark: haha INC: sleeps near him INC: I would Faye to make a play for Marten, and say something along the lines of, "I;m smart, I'm funny, I like the same music as you, I care about you. What does Dora have that I won;t?" INC: and Marten would go: "She FUCKS me." mark: haha mark: "if you still want to hang out and be sassy, I'm cool with that, inexplicably." mark: Yeah, I agree, the comic is a cry for help mark: but I require a cry for help with more chuckles INC: INC (9:54:02 PM): I think Monday's strip was my favorite QC ever :-) INC (9:54:08 PM): I hope the author is okay QCmerch: (9:54:13 PM): he is! QCmerch: (9:54:22 PM): or will be when the stitches heal INC (9:54:24 PM): I liked the honesty of it INC (9:55:06 PM): the guy character being emasculated constantly - it's the heart of the strip, in my opinion mark: hahaha INC: cut himself with a knife INC: ON ACCIDENT? mark: haha mark: only way out of living with QCmerch INC: his left hand finally had enough mark: wait yeah mark: why was he cutting with his off hand? INC: he was sleepwalking mark: stabulist INC: did you see the QC last week where he was like, "I could barely draw Panel 3 because I was giggling so much!"? mark: NO mark: i;m going to look now INC: it's awful, of course INC: plus now every character is wearing new t-shirt designs INC: basically praying that one of them sparks with the crowd mark: haha mark: wow, how shitty was that strip? on a scale of one to 5? 6? 7? INC: yeah, off the scale mark: He couldn't stop giggling at an analysis of the "crazy exgirlfriend" INC: yeah, the groundbreaking epiphany INC: that everyone has at 15 mark: yeah wow mark: also, ignoring the fact that martin probably has terrible experiences with women because he's an idiot mark: "you love belittling me! I think i'm in LOVE" INC: yeah, his psycho exes went psycho when they discovered they were dating a girl INC: "Look, just buy me dinner one more time and a plane ticket home, and then we'll say our goodbyes." mark: haha mark: leaving on a jet plane mark: Back to sassachusetts INC: haha mark: has QCmerch blocked you yet? INC: no INC: I should ask her about all this INC: she's not online now, though mark: the long suffering >QCmerch mark: really, a small price given that she has a eunuch that makes her money by drawing shitty comics INC: all she does is pack shirts all day INC: and get taken to the hospital periodically mark: when martin cut's up his hand mark: err mark: JJJacques INC: she's had some accidents, too INC: I'm guessing it's total drama whenever she's not getting enough attention mark: [15:45] INC:
mark: haha INC: I guess she won't answer me unless I buy a stupid "Library Science" shirt mark: happy new year INC: HELLO! INC: happy new year to you mark: I'm BACK INC: in this new year, in QC, we discuss our FEELINGS INC: also, people almost hook up but don't mark: haha, yes, let's jump right back into it INC: it's a whole new world! mark: who almost hooked up? INC: Faye and the guy who she insults INC: she's become just a punching machine now INC: she barely even talks INC: I love this comic because all the women constantly beat up the guys mark: That's a common theme in For Better Or For Worse mark: women are always smashing their men in the back of the head INC: he's so pussy whipped it would never occur to him that almost no woman can beat up a man mark: Well, he looks pretty skinny mark: it might be more of a danger for him INC: Faye, the moped girl, etc INC: all women just knocking the shit out of men constantly mark: oh yeah that stupid moped girl INC: what kind of world of fear is this guy living in? mark: haha 52% of the human race could kick my ass RIGHT NOW INC: I'd better write a comic to tell them how much I think fo them mark: thank god I don't leave the house and draw a webcomic INC: meanwhile, QC is sucking on a level never before seen INC: Faye goes to a fucking therapist and whines that she's not having any sex mark: hahaha mark: I haven't read it in months mark: I need to catch up INC: it's awful mark: Oh, sex is ruined for what appears to be a gay mark: man mark: today, on QC INC: yeah INC: again more talking about sex than actually doing it INC: it really is like middle school mark: Also, clearly the therapist should have told her to bang some dude because that's fayes primary problem INC: "Oh man, what if you were, like, DOING IT, with a girl... heh... and you said..." INC: yeah, she's sitting there telling the therapist how horny she is and blah blah blah INC: I'd be like, "Here is a cock, here is a gun. Swallow one of them." INC: well, what are her options? mark: I think you should start that INC: also she's fat and ugly INC: I love that they make constant reference to her big tits INC: the last refuge of fat chicks mark: And mostly because the other girl doesn't have tits at all INC: yeah, the stereotypical "sexpot" INC: god, QC mark: this I have to see INC: I'm back a few days, and it's so fucking awful INC: the one guy who actually had sex on the strip is now pouring his heart out to some girl INC: I swear to god, this J JAcques guy is so fucking emasculated mark: Man, how do you get through this thing mark: As soon as I read the line "men say that i'm exotic" I just instinctively click the red X INC: haha INC: I'm not there yet INC: I started with "Well you know... no, I'm not gonna bore you with my problems..." INC: can you imagine the levels of passive-aggressiveness this guy uses on his girlfriend mark: haha, god forbid someone in that strip use that INC: no, they did say that! mark: no, i mean, that's all the comic is INC: http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=820 )http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=820 INC: oh yeah mark: people bitching about their problems mark: most of which being that they hate their shitty, sexless lives and lameo friends INC: I just got an email that I apparently won a whole bunch of Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards! As of me writing this the results aren't online, but evidently QC won "Outstanding Slice-of-Life Comic," "Outstanding Character Writing," "Outstanding Dramatic Comic," and "Outstanding Romantic Comic." I don't put much stock in "awards" as a rule, but it's certainly nice to have people say such nice things about my comic. Thanks to everyone who voted for me, and congratulations to all the other winners and nominees. INC: dramatic INC: : I really like this week's strip! QCmerch: : thanks! I will pass that on to Jeph INC: It's nice to see Steve and his problems with women INC: it's a nice break from Marten and his problems with women QCmerch: : hah QCmerch: : yes INC: I like how Steve is passive-aggressive, like how he's all, "Nah, I don't want to discuss my problems..." just so the girl will ask him more INC: it's a lot like real life INC: QC really is just about guys being fucking pussies now mark: There is a foreign student that told me he loved that comic yesterday! INC: haha INC: maybe it's better if you can't read the dialog mark: I think this is the first time something was gained in translation INC: in today's panel, it would be so great if this Steve guy was like, "Fuck, I forgot to hit on Penelope!" then goes back and by the time Marten gets there he;s got her bent over the counter INC: "W-what are you doing? What about the morgue chick?" INC: Steve: "Who do you think is licking my asshole right now?" mark: I think that should be the punchline to most QC strips mark: haha INC: just turn it into an Ivan Brunetti strip mark: yeah mark: that would be good because he is a cartoonist mark: (burn) INC: haha INC: the fat chick would be all, "Waa, I have issues. I like guys but can't commit." INC: and then a bum comes up and is like, "Fuck, I don't care. I'll fuck you right here." INC: and in the final panel she's like, "Hey, this isn't so bad." INC: and the bum is like, "I have AIDS." mark: in the corner a guy with a trumpet goes "wa wa wa" INC: J Jacques head would come right off INC: "They're being disrespectful to my characters!!" mark: so the best part of the foreign student liking QC was his description of it mark: "It has coffee shop, and now library aspect" INC: haha INC: SO MANY LOCATIONS! INC: that's great INC: okay I've registered INC: I need to host the image somewhere I think INC: http://img262.imageshack.us/my.php?image=qcright02sr3.jpg mark: haha mark: You like it so much, you include the JJacques copyright INC: haha INC: yeah, why not? INC: he's my idol mark: i idolize his can do attitude in the face of soul crushing emasculation INC: he's bound and determined to show every woman on the planet how much he empathizes with her plught INC: plight mark: the only plight worht mentioning? not getting laid INC: and men being too aggressive mark: I'm going to start a comic called sass squad INC: haha INC: NOT ONLY BEDROOM BUT ALSO LIVING ROOM! mark: Are you implying that sass squad is mostly post coital bitching from a bunch of fat lesbians? mark: because you'd be right INC: YES INC: it's everything I hoped it would be mark: curiously, I was hoping for more INC: I just introduced FSBT to it
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