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by I need clarification 03/31/2007, 12:40am PDT |
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L.A. police to get new (small, tiny, pathetic) flashlights,
Right on the heels of the TJ police being stripped of their guns and issues Palestinian-styled slingshots, the LAPD has been told to turn in their big, swinign' Maglights and instead use some high-tech pansy shit like some sort of fuckin' Star Wars GEEK.
AP wrote:
The new 10-inch, $100 flashlight was developed and manufactured by the Torrance-based company Pelican to meet LAPD specifications. It will feature both a standard "patrol mode" and an ultra-light "tactical mode" that is bright enough to temporarily blind suspects.
HA, who are they kidding? Ten inches never blinded anyone, least of all "suspects." The other reason this scenario will never be played out in real life is no self-respecting cop would pull out such a thing right in front of some little wannabe gangbanger who SHOULD be shaking in his ridiculous space-boot Air Jordans but instead will perform the hard man's version of laughing: saying, "that shit right there is funny."
AP wrote:
Ramona Ripston, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Southern California, praised the LAPD for the equipment change.
"It's a really important step in the right direction, and it's going to make a difference in how the police department deals with the community," she said. "We've always felt that a flashlight was not an instrument to beat people with. This new one will serve the purpose it was intended to."
Is Ramona aware that the cops here also carry batons, not to mention the original policeman's phallic symbol, a FUCKING GUN? I'm talking about both the one on their waist, and the spare, untraceable one strapped to their ankle, perfect for both indicating just hot long their dicks might hang as well as planting on some formerly excited jig who seems to have lost his weapon sometime between being seen with it and being dead. |
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