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| UK Cosplayers set Guinness World Record by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2008, 4:01am PDT | ||||
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Yesterday, a new world record was set when eighty cosplayers all happened to show up on London's Millennium Bridge at the same time. Seventy-six of them had planned to commit suicide by hurling their pasty, bloated bodies into the icy waters, while three others were just looking for a crowded place to J/O. One legitimate furry businessman, on his way to work at non-criminal enterprise crazyfox365.com, also lent his weight to the collective affront to God and the bridge's support structure. 
"I'm afraid these flat heels and low-rise skirt are making my legs look like shaved gorilla legs," moaned a bitch. "Huh, wha? I'm sorry, but I've trained my eyes to shut down when they see a woman in a Harry Potter Scarf," replied a suspicious individual lurking behind a railing. 
"STEEEEVE!! NOOOOO!!!" yelled a curiously well-endowed pink thing, as it slow-motion dived to shield its oblivious green lover from deadly lightsaber assassination. 
"Care for a handjob, Sonic the Hedgehog?" asked a common whore cleverly disguised as NiGHTS. "Ix-nay on the andjob-hay in front of the amera-cay," whispered a happily-married Sonic out of the corner of his mouth. 
"This is what modern Islam is all about," said ten-year-old Ulala Mohammedario, "sacrificing oneself in a blaze of mutilation to stem the tide of Western cultural imperialism." When told that video games are actually a product of Japan, home of her beloved Hello Kitty, Ulala hesitated over the detonator just long enough for authorities to shoot her in the head. Meanwhile, nine-year-old Vincent Martinio pleasured himself for the first time. "Mama mia, I'm-a makin' some terrible mental associations," said the prematurely pubescent ethnic stereotype, "this-a gonna set poor Vinny up for a lime-a-time a sexual disfunction." |
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UK Cosplayers set Guinness World Record by 03/19/2008, 4:01am PDT  life-a-time :( NT by 03/19/2008, 5:26am PDT a NT by 03/19/2008, 5:27am PDT I'm a gonna knocka you down, breaka you down into the leetol cubes. NT by 03/19/2008, 5:28am PDT life-a-time of sexual DEVIANCY (I'm-a so embarassed, I'm-a bake-a the pizza pie) NT by 03/19/2008, 5:31am PDT |
