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Re: All Zelda games all the time. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/24/2008, 7:05pm PDT
The Legend of Zelda: Classic.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: Boy they FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!! this one up. >:(

This really could've been a good game, even changing shit up to be a side scrolling adventure, with an overhead world separate from the actual game's action, which I believe was a precursor to the Final Fantasy style of random encounters. This wasn't inherently bad, especially since it was like the first game to ever do this. They also added a leveling up system with experience points you get from every enemy, aside from the couple odd enemy types that don't give you experience and in fact reduce your experience if they hit you (which is a tad GAY).

Unfortunately this game is unplayable without a walkthrough or strategy guide due to its ridiculous esoteric puzzles which involve doing shit you could probably never guess in a billion years (so........ esoteric then, like I JUST SAID). I just looked up esoteric in the dictionary and the definition fits quite well actually. JUST LIKE MY DICK, HEH 8)

Anyway, they got rid of the boomerang in this game. I don't know if that's a bad sign, but this is the only Zelda game that's sort of generally viewed as the shitty one, and it's also the only one with no boomerang. Also it's the only one with jumping over instant fucking kill pits while enemies jump fucking AT YOU so your jumps fuck up. Then they put limited lives in, so you lose a few of your lives easily on some fuckin bullshit jumping pit shit, and it's game fuck you. In the future they nerfed this a ton where you'd jump into water before you had the ability to swim, and it would just teleport you back to land with some health missing, which is of course the purpose of having a health bar, to penalize you when you fuck up, not to just FUCKING LOOK PRETTY UP THERE and have absolutely no bearing on your survivability if you're just doing to be instantly killed by a ridiculous amount of hazards. The last two bosses will fuckin eat up 40% of your health in just one hit so they can kill you in a fuckin second just like Pete from Ray and Pete's Shut Up Little Man Adventures.

It's sort of clear that the sword fighting system seen in future games was trying to be invented here, where you had your shield out in front of you, and you could block and attack low by ducking, and block high by standing normally. Trying to fight those fuckin Ironknuckle dudes like this is just impossible though, they'll shove their swords right up your ASS!!!!!!!!!! as you try to juggle duck with stand duck stand duck stand duck stand over and over for like 5 minutes just fighting one dude. If you do it with the block/stab system, which only sort of worked, and then later in the game there will be tons of enemies that can just blast right through your shield so who cares. The real way you're supposed to kill Ironknuckles is just by jumping and stabbing at their eye level, which is a lot faster and less sword fighty.

So yeah, the main problem with this game is that it's too fuckin hard, and the hardness comes mostly from how they threw away a lot of the conventions of the first game, with natural exploration and doodling around the world, and turned it all into shit you just had to look up in Nintendo Power to get through. Perhaps if they made it a little more Contray, delete all the gay bottomless instant kill pits, and let you go up places with jumping that doesn't require a spell cast every time you change screens fuckin BOOLSHIT. Or really, the Metroid and Castlevania sequels ended up perfecting this style of play, where you side scroll through areas and power yourself up with leveling up and finding upgrades and such.

The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past: Awesome.

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening: Adds jumping!

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: Much like Mario bringing games into the third dimension with polygons and third person perspective jumpan advenchurrrrs, Zelda 64 brought the 3D world type things into a huge world that you could flop around in, solving puzzles and fighting dudes, but all next gen loyk. The sword fighting system that they apparently wanted to incorporate into the game since Zelda 2 was made real in this game by giving you a button for blocking with your shield, while you just automatically lock on to enemies and circle around them chopping at will. By Wind Waker they had mastered this system and turned almost every fight into a sort of real sword fight.

This was also probably THE most atmospheric game at the time, partially because it had the best graphics in game history as soon as it came out.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: Unplayable, no saves.

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons: Capcom games. We already played Link's Awakening. Trying to squeeze the last life out of the Gameboy/Gameboy Color before the handhelds all go next gen.

The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker: Awesome cartoony.

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap: Capcom game. Good.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: Haven't played yet, planning on getting a Wii soon.

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass: I'll play this.
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All Zelda games all the time. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/24/2008, 12:17pm PDT NEW
    Twilight Princess is out on the Gamecube too you know NT by Fortinbras 03/24/2008, 12:24pm PDT NEW
        I don't have a Gamecube. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/24/2008, 2:05pm PDT NEW
            HOW THE FUCK DID YOU PLAY WIND WAKER THEN NT by Fortinbras 03/24/2008, 4:54pm PDT NEW
                Borrowed a Gamecube. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/24/2008, 5:24pm PDT NEW
                the same way we played our purchased copy of RE4 NT by Grumah 03/24/2008, 9:53pm PDT NEW
    Re: All Zelda games all the time. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/24/2008, 7:05pm PDT NEW
        Please add Wand of Gamelon thanks NT by Fortinbras 03/24/2008, 7:26pm PDT NEW
            No. *shoots you* NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/24/2008, 7:58pm PDT NEW
        Re: All Zelda games all the time. by FABIO 03/24/2008, 10:16pm PDT NEW
            Re: All Zelda games all the time. by Grumah 03/24/2008, 11:15pm PDT NEW
                Grumble Grumble by Please feed me beef 03/24/2008, 11:19pm PDT NEW
                    Re: Grumble Grumble by Grumah 03/24/2008, 11:37pm PDT NEW
                    Re: Grumble Grumble by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 12:13am PDT NEW
                        Re: Grumble Grumble by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 12:45am PDT NEW
                            haha holy fuck that sucks NT by Grumah 03/25/2008, 5:02am PDT NEW
                            Wow NT by Entropy Stew 03/25/2008, 8:49am PDT NEW
                            One thing Zelduh 2 sort of reminded me of was Crystalis. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 5:35pm PDT NEW
                                Re: One thing Zelduh 2 sort of reminded me of was Crystalis. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 5:39pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: One thing Zelduh 2 sort of reminded me of was Crystalis. by FABIO 03/26/2008, 10:59pm PDT NEW
                                Re: One thing Zelduh 2 sort of reminded me of was Crystalis. by Bananadine 03/25/2008, 7:13pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: One thing Zelduh 2 sort of reminded me of was Crystalis. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 7:35pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: One thing Zelduh 2 sort of reminded me of was Crystalis. by Bananadine 03/26/2008, 9:39am PDT NEW
                                            probably one of the sword bracelets or whatever (lightning) NT by Grumah 03/26/2008, 2:29pm PDT NEW
                                            The bow of truth by FABIO 03/26/2008, 10:56pm PDT NEW
                                                Re: The bow of truth by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/26/2008, 11:31pm PDT NEW
                        Hahaha, I think you might have just gotten me to play Zelda 2 again! by Bananadine 03/25/2008, 9:46am PDT NEW
                            No(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 5:28pm PDT NEW
                        Re: Grumble Grumble by FABIO 03/25/2008, 6:39pm PDT NEW
                            Re: Grumble Grumble by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 7:35pm PDT NEW
                                Re: Grumble Grumble by Please feed me beef 03/25/2008, 8:19pm PDT NEW
                                    The game, not Death Mountain. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 11:24pm PDT NEW
        Zelda 1 by Grumah 03/24/2008, 11:52pm PDT NEW
            Re: Zelda 1 by Fussbett 03/25/2008, 12:51am PDT NEW
                launch title launch title lunch titty NT by Grumah 03/25/2008, 12:55am PDT NEW
                You were too ugly to raep so I beat you up when I looked at you I had to throw u NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 12:55am PDT NEW
        NEW DRAFT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/03/2008, 12:39pm PDT NEW
            Re: NEW DRAFT by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/03/2008, 12:46pm PDT NEW
                I should have Jso size down some of these pix also, they make the whole thing lo NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/03/2008, 1:29pm PDT NEW
                    make them thumbnails with links to larger ones (can probably also not include so NT by Grumah 04/03/2008, 8:14pm PDT NEW
    The thing I remember about Link's Awakening by Fortinbras 03/25/2008, 12:42am PDT NEW
        I got misty eyed at the end, but I cant seem to play the rom nowadays by Grumah 03/25/2008, 12:54am PDT NEW
    majoras mask sux by Grumah 03/25/2008, 1:01am PDT NEW
    review pixxx by Grumah 03/25/2008, 1:40am PDT NEW
        I uploaded a shitload more but I dont feel like typing them all out NT by Grumah 03/25/2008, 3:49am PDT NEW
        Re: review pixxx by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 1:00pm PDT NEW
            I can't tell where Windwaker begins and Powerpuff Girls ends! NT by Fortinbras 03/25/2008, 2:38pm PDT NEW
                That's Ocarina of Time you stupid stupid newb YOU JUST BLEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 2:47pm PDT NEW
                    You've never heard Windwaker Link referred to as the 4th Powerpuff Girl? NT by Fortinbras 03/26/2008, 10:57am PDT NEW
                        I guess that sort of works. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/26/2008, 6:51pm PDT NEW
        More Zelduh pix Jso uploaded. :( by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/26/2008, 9:16pm PDT NEW
            The one missing is NOW YOU WILL BE VISITED BY THE GHOST OF YOUR DEAD FATHER NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/26/2008, 10:51pm PDT NEW
    zelda link to the PANTS by Grumah 03/25/2008, 4:54am PDT NEW
        "A Link to the Past" Stands the Test of Time NT by Newspaper headline 03/25/2008, 1:04pm PDT NEW
            john mccain sex scandel NOT AN EDITORIAL THIS IS A NEWS STORY NT by Grumah 03/25/2008, 1:06pm PDT NEW
    WHEN????????????????? (maybe we should finish this article) NT by Grumah 04/27/2008, 12:48pm PDT NEW
        We'll do THAT. ^_^ NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/27/2008, 6:08pm PDT NEW
 
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