That Hospital Level in Hotline Miami

OK, so there’s a Hotline Miami level where you lose your weapons and the controls get all screwy!! LOL! You know, I was a bit down on a game that didn’t have save-anywhere and relied on death from an unseen source, but man. This was the greatest level in the history of gaming. So imaginative. So well-crafted. It was the best thing we saw in 2012, but could it be better? Well, as a man with a long history of being a Failed Romero, let me take the Panther XL stick and state that it could only be improved if:

– You were asked to escort a Little Sister and all the NPCs from Crossbow to safety

– There was a a frozen minecart hallway requiring you to unplug your second controller from the game port, while holding the cartridge’s light sensor toward the Sun

– While keeping a close eye on the number of shields the cops had, they suddenly finished the Great Wall and Lighthouse right before you did

– There were two minutes left and as you were trying to ice the game level, you automatically fumbled

– You were within range of the finish line and suddenly the computer cars behind you sped up faster than they otherwise could have gone on their own to take the lead

– Jason Rohrer unvaccinates your kids